The big day is coming. The day we’ve been waiting for. The day that we watch Jack Pearson burn to death on This Is Us.
At least that’s what we’ve been led to believe: A fire started by a slow cooker caused a full-on house blaze, and potentially led to the fiery demise of America’s favorite dead dad Jack Pearson (played by Milo Ventimiglia). This Is Us has been teasing his death since early on in the first season, and now it seems like millions of viewers will finally watch it happen right after the Super Bowl on Sunday.
If everything goes as expected on the next episode of This Is Us, it will be a lot to handle. There will probably be tears. Maybe even screaming. Maybe even death.
Here’s what you need to do to not die during the post-Super Bowl episode of This Is Us, appropriately titled “Super Bowl Sunday.”
Like any good American holiday, it’s imperative to be around the ones you love during the Super Bowl and the This Is Us headliner that follows. This could be a pet, some friends, a This Is Us Slack group with your coworkers, a favorite box of tissues, or your closest family members.
Even if a few staples can’t make it such as, say, your three children who all seem to have other last-minute plans, that’s OK, as long as you leave a note telling your rudest son that you love him but he still owes you an apology.
As long as you have someone or something to hold onto as you watch the Pearson family go through one of the most traumatic experiences imaginable, you may be able to keep it together. If that’s not enough, it may help to turn the dark situation into a money-making opportunity.
There are a lot of theories floating around the internet about how exactly Jack Pearson dies on This Is Us because it hasn’t been made 100% clear that he dies in the house fire. Why not turn that into a fun game to lessen the blow of Jack’s horrific death?
Just like some Super Bowl parties include friendly bets around things like which team is going to win or who’s going to take the first kickoff, you could start a pool on whether or not Jack runs back into the fire to save Kate, the dog, or maybe even to look for Kevin. Some postulate that Jack won’t even die during “Super Bowl Sunday” and may actually make it to the next episode — another fun mystery to put a few dollars on.
There’s a chance that you could get really invested in your bets which could make the situation even more stressful. In that case, make sure you have some food on hand to stress eat.
One of the most important things to remember while gearing up for a big night of television is sustenance.
This Is Us starts after the Super Bowl, so it may be a bit of a long night. On average, Super Bowl games tend to go on for nearly 4 hours, so from a 6:30 p.m. ET kickoff, we’re looking at digging into This Is Us at around 10:15 p.m. or even later on the East Coast.
A simple dinner alone won’t sustain most people, especially if you’re watching the Super Bowl and taking in a constant barrage of advertisements for nacho cheese-flavored chips and cheap beer. You’re going to need snacks.
How about some dip, chicken wings, or maybe some fresh corn muffins? You know what would go great with corn muffins? Chili — an American classic that pairs just as well with football as it does with tears. Just fire up your Crock-Pot (or other brand of slow cooker) and let some tomatoes, beans, peppers, spices, and maybe some meat stew all day for a delicious and hearty centerpiece for your evening.
At the end of the night, after you’ve powered through all your chili, lost a bit of money, and covered your area rug in tissues, cleaning everything up can bring some peace of mind and give you time to reflect on Jack’s final (possibly screaming) moments.
Take a little once-around through the kitchen and living room, tidy up the little messes that you or other people made. Maybe play a song while you do it, like “To Build A Home” by The Cinematic Orchestra.
Last of all, turn off the slow cooker and head up to bed.
Now repeat to yourself over and over: “The Pearsons are not real. They are a fictional family. The Pearsons are not real. This Is Us is a fictional TV show.”
Go to sleep.
Wait … have you checked to make sure your fire alarm works recently?