1. Identify how your pain serves you. Nobody consistently self-sabotages without reason. The patterns and habits that you feel “stuck” in meet some kind of need. If you can’t let go of negativity, it’s because you are secretly using it for something.
2. Work on your ability to visualize. The only way to change your life is to first imagine what the opposite of your pain is. Until you are consciously creating your life, you will be living on the same autopilot that you are right now… and over time, you will begin to think it’s who you really are.
3. Stop believing everything that you feel is real. Experience should have shown you right now that your feelings are not representative of what’s happening in reality, rather, they are a tool for you to see the quality of your thoughts about reality. Use this to your advantage, not your detriment.
4. Be honest about what you really love vs. what you love the idea of. Nobody intentionally chooses a life they don’t really want; they simply confuse what makes them feel good for what the idea of something makes them feel.
5. Do not say anything about yourself that you do not want to be true. “I am” is the most powerful prayer in the universe.
6. Stop judging, criticizing and seeking out fault with people who have the things you want. Doing so is making you associate having those things with being unloved.
7. Stop trying to make things perfect more than you try to find what’s already perfect about the life you have.
8. Find what makes you “flow.” Flow = health, where as stiffness or hardness = death. Do anything that makes your oxygen, blood, thoughts or feelings move again.
9. Memory surf. Trace your feelings back to their source. Figure out what scared you and why you’ve continued to live as though that scary thing is constantly threatening you.
10. Figure out what’s on the other side of your fear. Whatever upsets you most is actually a sign of what you care about most.
11. Figure out what’s on the other side of your pain. Often, the things that we struggle with most are actually our deepest gifts in disguise. Many people who write self-help books begin them by explaining how badly they struggled with their emotions, and then how in the process of learning to deal with them better, they discovered their life purpose.
12. Clean out your space. Your belongings hold as much energetic imprints as anything else. Clutter blocks flow in your space. Some people even say that when there is a disruption or stressor in your life, there is often a corresponding mess in your home.
13. State what’s wrong. “Feelings, once felt, will start to change themselves.”
14. Remember that most of what you fear is an illusion that your subconscious has designed to hold you back and keep you “safe.”
15. Surround yourself with people who you aspire to be like. Their influence will impact you more than you realize.
16. Stop spending so much time scrolling, reading and engaging with things that make you a smaller, more angered, judgmental, scared version of yourself.
17. Follow, read and regularly engage with people and content that inspires you to be your best, most loving and creative self.
18. Get a junk journal, and use it to write down all of your racing, scary feelings. Burn it or throw out each page after you get out whatever you need to.
19. Disrupt your patterns. You cannot build a new life while standing in the ruins of your old one.
20. Give your feelings colors and descriptions. Welcome them into your body when you feel them and then ask them what they are here to tell you. Write the answer down, and then close the journal. Go back when the feeling passes, and decide if the message is one of fear, or one of love.
21. Stop trying to find your happiness – find what’s your happiness. Joy is your natural state.
22. Do yoga, even if all you can manage are a few poses, or just lay in child’s pose for 15 minutes. Go for a walk, even if it’s just around the block. Drink water, even if it’s only one glass. Do not underestimate the power of small actions, and how they will build over time.
23. Make a playlist that makes you feel nostalgic or sad or inspired. Clean the kitchen. Eat something cheap and delicious for dinner. Do anything that grounds you and reminds you that life is both simple, and to be enjoyed.
24. Give yourself credit. You are doing so much better than you think you are. You are so much more accomplished than you know. Make a list of everything you have now that you didn’t have before. Realizing what you’ve done and what you’re still capable of is the greatest motivation there is.
25. Imagine the exact life you want, down to the detail. Imagine who you are when you are your best self. That is who you really are, and that is the life that you’re meant to create. Do not let any thoughts, fears, or other people tell you otherwise.