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My 40 Wholesome And Funny Comics Inspired By My Relationship With My Fianc

Wyatt & Blu is a webcomic about the cute and comical life of a colored-haired couple.

I started Wyatt & Blu because I was following a few webcomic artists before, and after a while, decided I wanted to make one myself.

And I used to write a lot for fun, so when I found out about webcomics, I figured this was a way to start again and do it regularly — so here I am. I write the comics, and partner with a wonderful illustrator to create the art.

The strips are largely inspired by my daily life, relationship with my fiancé and what’s generally happening in the world. The strips are light-hearted and have a mix of everyday humor, romance, and good vibes.

The goal of these comics is to make people laugh and to, generally, spread positive vibes. My hope is to inspire positivity with these comics. I think it’s the reason people enjoy these comics, and what continues to motivate me to make these strips!

I’ve put together a collection of 73 strips from the past year here.

Hope you enjoy!

More info: wyattandblu.com | Facebook | Instagram | twitter.com

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http://www.boredpanda.com/comics-wyatt-and-blu-amir-lopez/

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40 Times People Had No Idea What They Were Looking At, But The Internet Knew What It Was Right Away (New Pics)

The internet is a veritable treasure trove of knowledge. And there are hundreds, and thousands of detectives online, all willing to give you a helping hand. The subreddit ‘What is This Thing’ is overflowing with amateur and professional detectives, and experts who help others identify the weird, peculiar and unusual things they came across. This online community’s combined wisdom and pursuit of the truth are second to none.

This is why Bored Panda compiled a list of the most bizarre-looking finds, along with the subreddit’s guesses of what they are. Scroll down, upvote all the finds you liked, and don’t forget to leave a comment about what you thought each thing was. And when you’re all done, take a look through Bored Panda’s other lists about the strangest finds here and here.

More info: Reddit

#1

I Found This Ring In My Backyard While Doing Gardening. After Cleaning It, It Doesn’t Look Like A Normal Ring. Any Ideas ?

Answer: It’s a Georgian/early Victorian mourning ring. The initials belong to the lost loved one.

They were typically made from gold (18k+) and enameled in black. Yours looks like it was made around 1820s-40s.

#2

Found At Myrtle Beach, Sc. What Is This Thing?

Answer: that’s a broken megalodon tooth.

#3

What Is This Big Hole That Is Usually Found On Milk Cartons?

Answer: It’s a pressure relief hole. If you dropped it, instead of exploding, the hole would pop out.

The ‘What is This Thing’ subreddit is very large: more than 1,170,300 people (and counting) are part of this community. Which just goes to show just how many people are drawn in by a desire to figure out modern mysteries. Or how many Sherlock Holmes and Castle enthusiasts actually prowl the streets at night, looking for cases to solve. You never know, your own neighbor could be one of these everyday heroes, helping others figure out answers to questions that won’t let them sleep at night.

#4

This Weird Wrapped Car. The Lights Were Wrapped In Cloth. Serial Numbers All Around. Anything Significant Or Just Tacky?

Answer: It obscures the car while being test driven, so the yet-to-be-released models are not photographed and published. The random “wave” patterns effectively hide the body contours and lines.

#5

This Was Found By A Cleaner Hidden Under My Dresser In My Bedroom (She Told Me Very Discreetly About This Which Has Me Concerned), I’ve Tried To Google It To No Avail. What Is This Thing?

Answer: voice recorder, doesn’t transmit using wireless though so whoever placed this thing, will be back. If this was in your home, chances are there are cameras as well.

#6

Scanning Family Slides From 1964 – This Was Over My Parent’s House In Texas. What Is This Thing?

Answer: it’s a residue of a rocket launch. It’s called Twilight effect. It was done right at sunset so the sun lit the vapor/exhaust trail from underneath.

Some of you might be thinking that my talks about mom-and-pop internet detectives are a bit far-fetched. However, there are plenty of amateurs who have solved major mysteries! For example, BBC Future writes how Carl Koppelman got fired from his job at Disney and became a detective in his spare time.

#7

I Saw This In My Yard. Is This Just A Type Of Worm? Or Is There A Parasite On It? (I Saw It Breathing/Have Some Sort Of Heartbeat, So It’s Alive)

Answer: that’s two worms making more worms.

#8

Saw This Cat In Texas First Thought It Was A Domestic Cat But When We Got Closer That Seemed Less Likely. What Is It?

Answer: Black bobcat.

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Found In My Aunts “Treasure” Collection. Seems Like A Heavy Metal Weight Inside. What Is This Thing?

Answer: This is a “tracker pebble” used for tracking longshore drift. The pebbles have a serial number, are buried in a location and then refound further down the coast in the shingle by metal detector.

Koppelman is now the moderator of “The Unidentified” subforum on the Websleuths website and holds himself personally responsible for solving three mysteries. He matched three unidentified people in coroners’ reports with their missing person profiles. Among them is Lynda Jane Hart, whose remains were found in 1988, but identified only in 2011. If Koppelman can do this in his spare time, imagine what other mysteries we could solve if we joined forces!

#10

Found This Small Kettle Years Ago. Tried Searching For A Similar One But Have Always Come Up With Nothing. Anybody Have An Idea Why This Has This Unique Shape?

Answer: a portable men’s urinal for bedbound patients. It is used to pee when you cannot get out of bed.

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My Friend Just Moved In To A New Flat And This Is Her Neighbours Garden. What Is This Thing?

Answer: a Voodoo altar

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Found In My Dads Room, Really Hoping Its Not A Sex Thing. What Is This Thing?

Answer: it goes over shoes to give grip on ice. They are called yak tracks.

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What Is This Random Structure I Found In The Middle Of The Forest?

Answer: a WWII one man bomb shelter.

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In A Multi Storey Car Park. Is It A Passage For Rats? There Are Also Small Holes In The Floor And Ceiling With A Tiny Ladder Connecting Them

Answer: Secret Industry by John Pym: The stairwells and lift lobbies of multistorey car parks are not usually areas where people pause to admire the architecture, so John Pym used this to his advantage. The model walkways and ladders replicate their full-scale counterparts and are a playful way of suggesting an alternative, unseen service industry at work within the building. Superficially mundane, some people may use the car park for years without being aware of their presence, while others will notice straightaway. The artist sees it as a reward for those who look more closely at their surroundings.

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What Is The Purpose Of This Mirrors? I Came Across Them In Trosa, Sweden, Near The River. They Are On Almost Every House

Answer: In Denmark they are called a “gadespejl” It is an old invention, basically a mirror that made it possible to view the street from the comfort of your couch.

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4in By 4in Scissors. Uncomfortable To Hold, In Either Hand, Two Or Four Fingers. What Is This Thing?

Answer: they’re childrens’ training scissors. Like for pre-schoolers. The extra holes are so a grown-up can co-scissor and help the kid.

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This Purple Sky In Southern California Seen At 1:30am And Lasted For Only About 5 Minutes Before Fading Away. What Is This Thing?

Answer: the glow isrelated to a commercial cannabis growing operation. That’s the color of grow lights.

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Found This While Beach Combing In The Olympic Peninsula. I’ve Never Seen Anything Like It. What Is This Thing?

Answer: Squid eggs.

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Took This Picture From My Airplane Window On Trip From Dc To Las Vegas. Any Idea What It Is?

Answer: a mineral mine. It’s the world’s largest lithium deposit.

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20 Years Of Research And Reddit Is My Last Hope! What Is This Thing?

Answer: The Black Drum fish fossils. The Black Drum had a short deep body with a high arched back, but a flattish belly. The jaw teeth were small and pointed, but the throat was armed with large, flat, pavement-like teeth with which the drum crushed shellfish, for food. This characteristic separates it from the weakfish and the king fish.

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Noticed This Weird Urinal In A Brauhaus Bathroom In Cologne Germany. What Is This Thing?

Answer: it’s called a Papst (german for Pope). It’s for puking.

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All-Wood Things Seen With Someone’s Trash Set Out For Pickup, About 1 Foot High. What Is This Thing?

Answer: we call em bee hotels, like many people already mentioned, it is for ‘solitary’ bees (solitary because they don’t love/work/do in hives, but clearly, they live close to one another in this setting) although it can also attract many other animals. These things help the ecosystem.

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Looks Suspicious But Has Several Interchangeable Sized Tips And Appears To Have A Purpose. What Is This For?

Answer: It’s a snowman kit.

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Clock In Assisted Living Facility

Answer: Bedsore prevention. You would refer to the two hour intervals as a turning schedule.

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What Is This Signs Purpose?

Answer: It means do not scare the flamingos. Many people would cross that sign to scare them so that they could fly and get a picture.

#26

What Is This Paintball Gun Looking Thing Being Used By Police In A Real Life Drug Raid?

Answer: Pepper Spray Paint Ball gun. Technically it is a paintball gun, however the paintballs it fires have pepper spray powder inside of them. It’s less than lethal defense.

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This Just Trundled Across The Road In Front Of Me, Zoomed Down The Sidewalk Before I Could Get A Better Look At It. Spotted In Melbourne Australia. What Is This Thing?

Answer: it’s an automated delivery, possibly for food.

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What Is The Purpose Of This Chain?

Answer: it is a rain chain, an alternative for traditional downspout of a gutter system.

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Silver Capsule Camouflaged Inside A Wooden Container Hanging In A Tree In A Public Park. What Is This Thing?

Answer: it’s a geocache. Judging by the size, it’ll likely only have a list inside for people to sign that they found it.

#30

My Mother Left Bleach In Her Sink For About A Week While We Left On Vacation, And We Came Back To This. Is It Mold?

Answer: the bleach oxidized the metal parts of your sink.

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Answer: The Lucky Iron Fish. I recall hearing that iron deficiency was a serious problem in developing countries due to improper diets that consisted of mostly pastas and rice, which are a poor source of iron.

The solution was to boil chunks of iron with food to increase the iron content but many were skeptical and hesitant to cook with chunks of metal in their food. The iron was shaped into a ‘lucky fish’ that would provided addition health benefits when you boiled water with the fish in it.

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What Is This Weird Half Truck And Why Is It Pushing A Flatbed Trailer? Is There Any Sort Of Advantage Of Pushing Rather Than Pulling It?

Answer: Float Plane Mover. This truck’s job is to move planes up and down a boat ramp into the water. Backing up an ordinary truck+trailer combo down a boat ramp is not easy. With this vehicle, the driver can look straight forward down the ramp rather than in his rear-view mirror, and since the steering wheels are at the back it’s easy to align the truck’s bed with the plane. Most trucks only load at a boat ramp once in a while, since this one does only that, it makes sense to design it specifically for that job.

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What Are These Perfect Sets Of Beach Holes? Flip Flop For Scale

Answer: the remnants of a scientific clam survey.

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It’s Been Submerged In Water For Years Near A Creek Where I Live. Can’t Google Because I Don’t Know Where To Start. What Is This Thing?

Answer: The Quester, the private submarine built to salvage the Andrea Doria, now in need of salvage itself.

#35

Bit Into A Mcdonald’s Double Quarter Pounder With A Cheese And Noticed A Chemically Flavor. Opened It Up And Saw This. What Is This!?

Answer: Former employee, it’s more than likely from their gloves they use to put the meat on the grill.

#36

Falling Out Of The Sky? What Is This Thing?

Answer: contrails from a passenger plane. Being close to sunset, the vapor clouds are taking on the same color as any other cloud would have under the same late-day sun.

#37

We Had A Party The Other Night And Found This On The Kitchen Counter In The Morning. It Has White Powder In It And The Cap Just Comes Off, It’s Not Secured In Any Way. Bottle Cap For Size Reference. What Is This Thing?

Answer: It’s a refill container for a marking tool used in sewing. The tool dispenses a fine line of powdered chalk when drawn across fabric. I have some in several colors.

#38

What Are These Blue Tubes That I Keep Seeing In Berlin?

Answer: to transfer groundwater to rivers because of the water level. Since the early 1990’s the groundwater level in Berlin has been rising. Due to lower water consumption the abstraction of groundwater has diminished and the city now has to cope with an extraordinary high level of groundwater.

#39

Found Under A Bed. What Is This Thing?

Answer: small scale meth making device.

#40

Empty Gel Container In A Sealed Coca-Cola Bottle. What Is This Thing?

Answer: Ibuprofen.

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Eni Aluko: We all have moments in life when our morals are called into question

When the striker called out racism in the England camp, it ended her international career. She explains why the fight was worth it

Eniola Aluko is one of only 11 female footballers to have played more than 100 times for England. She has scored some of the Lionesses most memorable goals, was the first female pundit on Match Of The Day, and is a qualified lawyer, having graduated from Brunel University London with a first in 2008. But it is as a whistleblower that she is destined to be best remembered. And, like many whistleblowers, she has spent the subsequent years being rubbished by those she exposed.

Now she has written a memoir. They Dont Teach This is a fascinating examination of her multiple identities British and Nigerian, a girl in a boys world, footballer and academic, a kid from an estate with upper-middle-class parents, a God-fearing rebel. But the book is at its best when she reveals exactly what happened after she accused the England management team of racism, and the Football Association of turning a blind eye to it. Aluko does not hold back and few people from the football establishment emerge with their reputation intact.

Aluko now plays for Juventus in Italy, but we meet at her old stomping ground, Brunel. She has been delayed by traffic, which gives me time to explore the sports centre. On the wall are three huge, framed posters of Brunel alumni sporting legends. Guess who they are, I say to Aluko when she arrives. Mo Farah, definitely, she says instantly. And? Erm oh, Usain Bolt! Obviously! He trained here. And the third? She is stumped. Then she looks. Oh. My. God! It is a poster of her playing for England. Wow! Thats amazing. She looks genuinely thrilled.

Aluko has a small, mobile face with striking features big, brown eyes and a huge, ear-to-ear smile. When she is unhappy, she makes no attempt to hide it; her glare is as forbidding as the smile is winning. And there havent been many times over the past five years that Aluko has had reason to smile.

Eniola
Eniola Aluko playing for England against Germany at Wembley in November 2014. Photograph: Alamy

It all started in January 2014, barely a month after Mark Sampson took over as manager of the Lionesses. Sampson was 30 years old, an inexperienced coach who had never played professional football. At 28, Aluko was virtually an England veteran, a first-team regular and a popular member of the squad who had used her legal skills to champion teammates notably helping to draw up a new central contract for the team. The striker was also a conscientious player, always keen to improve her game.

Her desire to better herself led to her taking advantage of a new system that enabled players to watch back games and analyse their own performance, while hearing the audio from the management team. After a match against Finland, a 3-1 win for England in which Aluko had scored a goal and made another, she reviewed the footage. Aluko had been pleased with her performance which made it more shocking when she heard the audio. The goalkeeping coach Lee Kendall said: Eni is lazy as fuck, and: Shes not fit enough. Then, when I lost the ball, he said: Oh, fuck off, Eni, she tells me. She heard no disparaging remarks about other players, nor any positive comments when she scored and assisted a goal.

Aluko was confused. She was in the form of her life, with six goals in six games for England. And, more to the point, she says, she had never been called lazy before. At the time, I didnt think too deeply about what was being said. I was just like: why is this being said about me on a portal that everyone can access? Then I started thinking about where has this come from. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that there was a racial connotation. Look, lazy is a generic term. Anybody can be called lazy if youre not tracking back. But if youre black and youre called lazy, its different. Some words have real context to them, and this dates back to slavery times. In that split second, Im sure Lee Kendall didnt think about racial connotations, but thats what racism can be.

One coach spoke to her in a fake Caribbean accent. I was tempted to speak to him in a Scottish accent, despite knowing he was Welsh. Aluko is fully aware, as are most football fans of a certain age, how charged the word lazy is in relation to black footballers. In 2004, the former Manchester United manager Ron Atkinson was sacked as a pundit on ITV (and as a Guardian columnist) after a microphone picked him up saying the French defender Marcel Desailly is what is known in some schools as a fucking lazy thick nigger. Aluko knew Kendalls comment bore no comparison, but she couldnt help thinking about it. She started to feel the management team had it in for her, but kept stumm. What Kendall had said was unpleasant, but it would be virtually impossible to prove it was anything more. If they didnt like her, she would show her worth on the pitch. And she did, finishing joint top scorer among all nations competing for qualification for the European Championships in 2015, with 13 goals.

But the comments continued now to her face. In November 2014, she told Sampson that her family was flying in from Nigeria for a friendly against Germany. He replied: Well, make sure they dont come over with Ebola. (Sampson denied saying this for a long time after.) Aluko says she laughed nervously but was left reeling. She told her England teammate Lianne Sanderson, but said she wasnt going to make a big deal of it. She wanted to focus on her football.

At one point, Kendall, a close friend of Sampson, started speaking to her in a fake Caribbean accent. It infuriated Aluko not least because she isnt from the Caribbean. I was often tempted to speak to him in a Scottish accent, despite knowing he was Welsh, just to make the point.

Eniola
Im an optimistic, positive person normally, but I was miserable during that time. Photograph: Perou/The Guardian

Then she started to notice other things happening to black members of the squad. In October 2015, Chelseas midfielder Drew Spence was called up to the England squad for the first time, for a trip to China. Spence told Aluko that, in a meeting of midfielders, Sampson turned to the newcomer and said: Havent you been arrested before, then? Four times, isnt it? Spence was the only non-white player in the room and has never been arrested. After making these remarks, Sampson never picked her again for England; she still has only two caps.

A few days later, the midfielder Jill Scott was feted when she won her 100th cap against Australia speeches were made, she captained the team, a video message was played from her family. In the same match, Sanderson won her 50th cap another considerable milestone, normally celebrated with a special shirt but this was ignored. Sanderson told Aluko she was devastated; with Alukos encouragement, she told Sampson how upset she was, but asked him not to make an issue of it in front of the team. The following day, he addressed the squad, said he had made a mistake in not acknowledging her 50th cap and presented her with a special shirt. Sanderson was never selected for England again.

While Sampson did not drop Aluko, he told her repeatedly that he couldnt rely on her, that she lacked stamina and heart, that she was selfish and didnt play for the team. After Aluko scored a hat-trick in a 10-0 thrashing of Montenegro, Sampson presented her with the ball, telling the team: We all know Eni is a pain in the arse, but she did well to score a hat-trick after I gave her the target of scoring five goals today.

Aluko was still reluctant to draw attention to Sampsons behaviour. As black players, you dont always want to be bringing these issues up. You want to just play football. You know that the accusations of playing the race card are going to come up. So I would bite my tongue. Id see the level of ignorance, roll my eyes and get on with it.

And so it continued. Aluko says the only thing that kept her going was her desperation to reach 100 caps and become the first British-African woman to do so. When it finally happened, in February 2016, the occasion was soured by Sampson. She says he refused to give her advanced notice she would be playing, so she could invite her family. Then, on the morning of the match, Sampson told her she wasnt in the starting 11 because he wanted to field his strongest team. In the end, he brought her on in the second half and the captain, Steph Houghton, handed her the captains band. But by then she was inconsolable.

Three months later, in May 2016, the FA invited Aluko to participate in a confidential culture review about her experiences as a black woman in the England team. She agreed to a phone interview in which she said that she felt demoralised, and that under Sampsons management her negative experiences outweighed the positive ones.

Twelve days later, she was visited by Sampson at Chelseas ground and told she was being dropped from the England squad for un-Lionness behaviour and a bad attitude in the previous camp. A shocked Aluko asked for examples. Sampson told her she had been withdrawn and that her behaviour differed depending on whether or not she was in the starting lineup. Aluko hasnt played for England since.

Eniola
Aluko gives evidence to the digital, culture, media and sport committee in October 2017. Photograph: AFP/Getty Images

She was convinced she had been dropped because Sampson had found out about the supposedly confidential culture review. In June, she wrote to the FA with a grievance report. In August 2016, the head of elite development finally replied, insisting the two were unrelated. The FA told her it would investigate her allegations, but at the same time announced that its Integrity Unit was investigating a consultancy role Aluko had with a football agency. The FA concluded that she would have to stop working for the agency or quit football, because she was in breach of FA intermediary roles. Aluko argued there was no conflict of interest, but surrendered her paid role.

She began to think she wasnt simply involved in a spat with the England management, but that she was at war with the FA. And, as far as Aluko was concerned, the FA was playing dirty.

***

Aluko calls herself an accidental whistleblower. She never planned to sacrifice her career on the altar of justice; she just planned to alert the confidential review to inappropriate behaviour. In a way, she says, all she has ever wanted to do is quietly conform and get on with playing football. But Aluko has always stood out.

Her parents, Sileola and Daniel, moved the family from Lagos to Birmingham when Aluko was six months old. Daniel returned to Nigeria to pursue a career in politics, while Sileola worked first as a nurse and then for a pharmaceutical company, bringing up her children in England. From the age of five, Aluko was the only girl on her estate who played football. She and her younger brother, Sone, also a professional footballer, spent their free time honing their skills. Until she went to secondary school, she says, she never had a female friend. Her football-playing male friends called her Eddie, because it was a bit easier than Eni and a lot easier than Eniola.

Some parents were hostile to Aluko playing football particularly as she was better than their sons. The young Eni was told she was different from all the other girls. She knows she should have been proud, but she felt crushed. If I was talking to my young self, Id say: dont be afraid to be individual. Because I was afraid to be different. When the parents at school said: Whys a girl playing football? it made me feel alien.

It wasnt only football ability that differentiated the Alukos. While the other children on the estate spoke with a broad Brummy accent, Sileola insisted Eni and Sone spoke the Queens English. They might have been living a working-class life, but they did not have working-class roots. In Nigeria, their father had become a prominent politician. Meanwhile, at school, she began to learn how complex prejudice can be. I didnt get racism from the white girls, but I got really bad bullying from the black Caribbean girls who saw something in me that they didnt understand. They used to call me African bhuttu, which was patois for unsophisticated. And they called me Coconut because I spoke well and hung around with white people.

At the age of 15, she joined Birmingham City Ladies, where her coach Marcus Bignot labelled her the Wayne Rooney of womens football; like Rooney, she was short and muscular with an explosive burst of pace. That year, she was called up to the England youth squad. At her first camp, her skills made her stand out. I flicked the ball over somebodys head, brought it down and did a Cruyff turn and Hope Powell [Sampsons predecessor at England] stopped the session and said: Its not the Eni show. I remember thinking: well, Im not going to do that again. Ill just get it and pass it. Now she says she wishes she had followed her instincts it would have made her a better player. For her, that was a big difference between the boys and girls games while boys were encouraged to nurture their individuality, girls were scolded for it.

Eniola
Aluko was once labelled the Wayne Rooney of womens football. Photograph: Perou/The Guardian

Despite that desire to conform, there was already something unusually forthright about her. After discovering her cousin Fola had become a high-flying lawyer in New York, and reading To Kill A Mockingbird, she decided she wanted to become Atticus Finch and save lives. By then, Aluko says, she saw an injustice lurking on every corner. A boy in her class was bullied for his afro. Rather than defending him, the school banned afros. Aluko was outraged not least because one boy had long, dyed-green hair and nothing was said about it. She went to see the headteacher, who heard her out and told her she was changing the rules enforcing short hair for all the boys. It taught her that justice doesnt always look the way you want it to. That Christmas, the school awarded her a special prize for speaking up for others.

***

After Aluko put her grievance into writing in 2016, an internal investigation cleared Sampson and the management team of any wrongdoing. Aluko threatened to take the FA to court. The FA held a second investigation, this time hiring the barrister Katharine Newton to examine the evidence. In March 2017, it again cleared Sampson and his staff of wrongdoing, but Aluko was paid 80,000 in an out-of-court settlement.

In August that year, the findings were leaked to the Daily Mail, along with information about the settlement. Aluko was horrified by the way she was portrayed. The Mail did not mention the racism, only that Aluko had made allegations of bullying and harassment against Sampson and his staff. It suggested that the FA paid her the money only because it wanted to avoid disruption in the buildup to Euro 2017, that she was making problems because she had lost her place in the squad, and that her teammates didnt like her. In fact, the payout was for loss of earnings.

As for the report itself, Aluko calls it a shambles. It basically said: Eni lied about racism. Mark Sampson never said anything racist. The team is very happy. Weve interviewed a lot of players, and they say its a great culture. How did she feel when she saw it? I was gutted. Gutted. I was publicly being called a liar.

Does she think the FA set out to destroy her? She nods. It wasnt about Mark Sampson any more. It was about Eni Aluko versus the FA David versus Goliath. The PR machine of the FA was Make Eni look as bad as possible. It was a smear campaign.

Did anything ring true? Well, she says, the report was accurate that she had become withdrawn. Im an optimistic, positive person normally, but I was miserable during that time. You have a lot of downtime on England camps, so I was in my room on my own trying to get through it. I didnt really socialise with anybody. How did she cope? I have a strong faith in God. Id watch stuff from my favourite preachers about opposition and how to face adversity. Did she lose faith at any point? No, I think my faith got stronger, because in that period thats all I had.

***

In August 2017, Aluko told her side of the story to Daniel Taylor of the Guardian (she is now a columnist for the sports pages of this paper). She revealed that Sampson had made the Ebola comment and asked an unnamed mixed-race England player how many times she had been arrested. A month later, Spence told the FA that she was the player in question and that everything Aluko had said was true. The Professional Footballers Association called for a new investigation, accusing the FA of holding a sham review that was not designed to establish the truth, but intended to protect Mark Sampson.

Five days after Spence came forward, England played Russia. Every member of the team raced to the bench to celebrate with Sampson after Nikita Parris scored the opener for England in a 6-0 win. Aluko says that was when she finally cracked. I cried my eyes out when I saw that. Players can celebrate how they want, but in the midst of the case I just thought it was too much. I felt really, really low at that point.

A day later, the FA sacked Sampson out of the blue, stressing that it was nothing to do with the racism allegations. It emerged that he was forced out because of a relationship he had had with a player three years earlier when he was managing Bristol Academy. In January 2019, Sampson received a payout from the FA for unfair dismissal.

Eniola
Aluko says she is comforted by the number of female footballers who have spoken out in the past couple of years. Since her case, the American womens team have pursued an equal pay dispute. And Ada Hegerberg, Norways top player has said: I dont like the way things are happening [regarding unequal pay]. Photograph: Perou/The Guardian. Adidas Originals track top 74.95, Adidas Originals, adidas.co.uk.

A third investigation was ordered into Alukos allegations and, in October 2017, Newton concluded that Sampson had racially abused Aluko and Spence. While stressing that she did not regard Sampson as a racist, Newton said: I have concluded that, on two separate occasions, Sampson has made ill-judged attempts at humour, which, as a matter of law, were discriminatory on the grounds of race within the meaning of the Equality Act 2010. The FA apologised to Aluko and Spence.

A month later, the FA was accused of a cover-up after saying that Kendall would not face action, while concealing the fact that he had admitted putting on a mock Caribbean accent to Aluko. Kendall resigned as goalkeeping coach and apologised to her.

This January, 16 months after losing his job, Sampson also apologised to Aluko and Spence, saying: As a white male, I needed to do more and Ive worked hard to educate myself. I spent six weeks with Kick It Out on their educational course for equality and diversity. I need to play a more active role in making a difference. Its something I will do for the rest of my life.

***

How did Aluko feel when she read the final report? Elated. Vindicated. Since the FAs apology, she says, they have been building bridges. After the case, they asked me to be part of the recommendations with UK Sport to build whistleblowing procedures. Where possible, she says, she wants to forgive. Forgiveness is an action, a decision. I had a decision to make. Am I going to hold on to a lot of this pain and frustration with how they treated me, or am I going to try to build a lasting relationship that will impact change moving forward? I had the opportunity to try to do something that was positive with the FA and I did that.

Have fellow players apologised to her? Silence. Erm a few of the Chelsea girls have, yeah. She mentions her former Chelsea teammates Fran Kirby and Karen Carney close friends and women she hugely respects. As for Spence, Aluko says their relationship is stronger than ever. Drew is somebody I probably speak to every other day more than anyone else in football. But Aluko is less forgiving towards members of the squad for not supporting her. To this day, Steph Houghton and a lot of leaders in that team have not come out and apologised to me for what I went through. People say: Dyou want them to sacrifice their careers for you? No, I dont. But I do expect a team of people to say: we do not share these values, we do not accept that what the manager said was correct. She bangs the table as she talks.

Would she go for a drink with them now? No. With quite a few of them, categorically no. Because what they represent is fundamentally the opposite to me. In what way? Just not being able to come out and say: for my teammate to go through this, for racism to be even talked about in this team, is unacceptable.

In June 2018, Aluko left England to play for Juventus. She has enjoyed a hugely successful year there winning the league and cup double, finishing the season as the clubs top scorer. But, despite her impressive form, Aluko did not make the England squad for this years World Cup.

Does she ever think how differently life might have turned out if she had kept her mouth shut? Yes. This summer I was doing media at the World Cup. But Im only 32 and I could have played. I think my England career would have lasted longer than it did. At the point I decided to tell the story, I knew it was going to cost me my England career.

She pauses, then says something surprising. And thats a very powerful position to be in. Why? Because a lot of players, all they can think about is their pay cheque and the fact that they want to play football, so they dont say anything. So they dont end up leaving any legacy for the next person who comes along, and its going to happen to them, too. I would like to think that, next time a player complains about something going on, and not just a black player, it wont be accepted.

One thing that has comforted her is the number of female footballers who have spoken out in the past couple of years. Im not going to take credit for this, but, since my case, both the Australia and New Zealand womens teams have publicly complained about the culture of fear; the American womens team are in an equal pay dispute and probably going to win. Ada Hegerberg, Norways top player and the best player in the world, said: I dont like the way things are happening [regarding unequal pay]. Im not playing in the World Cup. There are many examples of women standing up and saying: were not having this any more.

Unfortunately, this list includes few of her former teammates. Not surprisingly, she says, they now seem uncomfortable when they see her.

Will she ever make up with them? Aluko shakes her head. I dont need to. My life has moved on. Everybody knows what I stand for. That is far more powerful than being an England player who puts on an England shirt and plays well. As much as the England management and the FA, Aluko feels bitterly betrayed by her own colleagues. I would much rather be where Im sat than where theyre sat, because people question them to this day. People say it to me all the time: I find it difficult to support the womens team because of how they behaved. We all have moments in life when our fundamental morals are called into question. In the face of what happened to me, they did nothing. People remember that.

An exclusive extract from Alukos memoir: No one could teach me how to navigate this hyphenated identity

It was being called up to play for England that made me understand I wasnt officially British. Not yet, at least. Not on paper.

A few months after I joined the youth team of Birmingham City Ladies, in 2001, we were scheduled to play a tournament in Warwick, and our coach Marcus Bignot told us England scouts would be there. The final whistle blew on the tournament and I jogged over to my dad, who was visiting from Nigeria. One of the scouts approached, told me Id played well, took my details and said hed be in touch. That was it.

It wasnt long before the first letter from England landed on our doorstep. Mum! I called out. England want me to go to an under-15s trial! Later, she got the letter framed and hung it in the hallway. I think she saw it as something that anchored us even deeper in the UK; one of us could be representing the country.

The trial was at Loughborough University. As the date approached, Mum started to worry about what I was going to wear. Appearances have always been important to her. I told her Id just wear my training stuff, but she wouldnt hear of it. The week before the trial, we went shopping and bought a pencil skirt, a collared shirt, a suit jacket and high heels to match.

The day came and Mum drove me up to Loughborough. Parents were invited to stay for a short introductory briefing with the manager, Hope Powell. We pulled into the car park and I spotted a couple of other girls walking into the building.

Oh, God, I said, horrified. Theyre all wearing tracksuits.

We stepped inside the building, my stomach doing backflips. Thirty or 40 girls sat with their parents, every one of them in a tracksuit and trainers. I swear I heard a murmur ripple around the room, as the girls looked round and nudged each other. I lowered my head and clip-clopped over to a seat in the far back corner. A few minutes later, Powell walked into the room and launched into a business-like introduction. I didnt hear a word she said. The second the talk was over, I jumped up and ran off to change into my training gear. Ive never lived it down.

A few weeks later, a letter arrived saying Id been picked for a week-long camp. I scanned the letter and took it into the kitchen to show to Mum. I began reading it out loud, then I stopped. Oh no, I said. Mum, they want me to bring my passport. What are we going to do? Mum frowned. She had applied to make us all British citizens, but the paperwork, the checks, the tests it all took a long time. It had never crossed my mind I would need to be naturalised as British to play for England. We had leave to remain, which meant we could stay in the country as long as we wanted.

I felt entirely British. Id lived in England my whole life; it was the only home I knew. I was so tired of being the odd one out. I felt a familiar despair rising, one I was coming to associate with my British-Nigerian identity.

Passports were a big deal for the Nigerian community in the UK. A red British passport was a prized possession for those who had been in the UK long enough to own one alongside the Nigerian document, known as a green pali. To hold a British passport was a gateway to the world. Mum mentioned our problem to Dad, to her Nigerian friends and family. Listen, said one uncle, who liked to flaunt that he was a British citizen by birth. If she dares show up with green pali, theyll send that child straight back. She has to be Britico now, dont you know that?

I felt like an alien in my own country. If I wasnt British, then what was I? I thought back to my last visit to Nigeria. I felt like a foreigner there, too.

Every day Id wake up and hope the document would drop on to the doormat. Every day it wasnt there and the camp was another day nearer.

In the end, I took an acknowledgement from the Home Office proving Mum had applied for naturalisation, together with a note she wrote. It was all we had. Thankfully, the coaches were more relaxed than expected.

A few months later, my passport finally arrived. Mum emptied the burgundy books out on to the table, alongside our Nigerian documents. Now you can travel wherever you want, she said.

I saw for the first time what this process meant. Getting a red passport was more than a formality. It was about status. She had been an adult when she first came to the UK, and all this time she had been a foreigner. She had worked hard to forge new paths for herself and her children. I turned over the little red book in my hand and stroked the gold coat of arms on the front. I picked out my old Nigerian passport and held it in my other hand. Two passports, two identities.

No one could teach me how to navigate this hyphenated identity. For me, being British-Nigerian is a tightrope Ill be on for the rest of my life. And whenever I wobble, or feel others are trying to pull me in one direction or the other, I grab on to my hyphen and remember Ill always be both.

They Dont Teach This by Eniola Aluko is published by Yellow Jersey Press (14.99). To order a copy for 10.99, go to guardianbookshop.com. Free UK P&P on online orders over 15. Phone orders minimum P&P of 1.99.

If you would like a comment on this piece to be considered for inclusion on Weekend magazines letters page in print, please email weekend@theguardian.com, including your name and address (not for publication).

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2019/aug/24/lot-of-england-team-still-havent-apologised-eni-aluko-after-whistleblowing

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The Day I Told My Wife ‘You Should Be Grateful’

I was chatting with my wife about the long night we’d had getting up with the baby, when I said, “At least I get up with her. A lot of men don’t. You should be grateful.”

I was tired. And I said it like she was really lucky to have me. Like I was going above and beyond as a father.

It was just after 7 a.m., Mel paused for a moment, leaned back in the chair, Aspen sleeping in her lap. Her eyes were a little red, and her brown hair was in a loose ponytail. She held the baby a little closer, and took in what I had said. I expected her to agree with me. We sometimes talked about the fathers we knew who didn’t get up with their babies. They viewed it as the mother’s job.

But she didn’t.

Instead, Mel crossed her legs, looked me in the eyes, and said, “I wish you would stop saying that.”

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At the time, Mel was a nearly full-time college student, a mother of three and a school volunteer (a requirement of our children’s charter school). She spent hours sitting at our kitchen table, hunched over a keyboard, a textbook to her right and at least one child tugging at her pant leg. And despite her commitment to education, and how much I pitched in, she often commented on the pressure she felt to keep a clean house—not to mention take the children to the doctor, cook meals, shuttle the kids to sports and other extracurricular activities, keep them looking clean and healthy, and monitor their behavior in public. She was a student and a mother, and yet she felt an enormous pressure to be the sole caregiver of our children. And there I was, feeding into those expectations by mentioning my help in the night as if it were some generous extension of my role as a father.

Naturally, I didn’t think about any of this at the time. What I said was my way of trying to get her to notice my contribution to our marriage. As a father, I often feel like I’m really breaking the mold because I do pitch in around the house. If I’m home from work, I’m cleaning; I get up in the night and do numerous other things to help make our marriage a partnership. But for some reason, I felt like I should receive special attention for doing things that have been, for so many years, seen as the mother’s job.

I was dressed in slacks and a collared shirt. In my right hand was a purple bag with my lunch. I paused for a moment, took a step back, and said, “Why? I mean, it’s true. I do a lot of stuff that other fathers don’t. I’m a good guy.”

Mel was standing now, the baby in her arms. Our older two children were still sleeping, so we were speaking in whispers. “Because it doesn’t make me feel like we’re in a partnership. It makes me feel like you want me to kiss your butt every time you get up in the night. This is your baby, too.”

We went back and forth for a while. She told me how she appreciated all that I do to help around the house, but she hated the way I acted like I was doing something really great, when in fact I was just doing what a father should.

My knee-jerk reaction was to get pissed off. I wanted to give her a list of other fathers we knew, family and friends, who still subscribed to antiquated notions of gender roles. I went to open my mouth, but stopped for just a moment, thought about my feelings, and realized it was best to leave before I said something I shouldn’t.

So I left for work without saying a word.

I drove to work angry.

I was 20 minutes into my 30-minute commute when I thought about the last time I had washed dishes. I’d assumed that I should be getting praise or a reward, and for the first time I asked myself, Why? I ate there, too. Then I thought about vacuuming the carpet, or doing the laundry, realized I had the same expectations about those chores, and suddenly I felt like a jerk. The understanding that Mel was responsible for home and childcare was so deeply ingrained in my understanding of family and contribution that I’d placed myself on a pedestal for doing something as simple as helping my wife with our baby in the night.

By the time I parked and walked to my office, I felt really low.

I called Mel from work, and told her I was sorry. “You’re right,” I said. “This is a partnership, and I shouldn’t act like I’m doing some amazing thing because I get up in the night. I’m going to stop.”

Mel was quiet for a moment. Then she said, “Thank you.”

**Clint Edwards is the author of No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog. He lives in Oregon. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

This post was originally featured on HUFFPOST.


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Its Never a Good Time to Invite Kids In

Two little girls stood staring across the screen door. Curious. Hesitant. Surveying each-other.

Both wore ridiculous dresses adorned with miles of ruffles. Both had disheveled blonde hair and cheeks flushed red from exertion. They could have been looking in the mirror.

The moms stood back, allowing this introduction to play out. One girl absentmindedly swirled, enjoying her skirt’s impressive radius. The other smiled in admiration. She knew a good twirly skirt when she saw one.

In a flash, the girls linked arms and dashed down the hall, disappearing into the playroom in a sea of giggles and shrieks.

A friendship was born.

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Those two girls were inseparable for the next six years. They moved seamlessly between each other’s homes as if neither property possessed door or boundary. No part of the home or yard was off limits. And rarely were they denied when they asked to play, eat, sleep or make colossal messes at each other’s houses.

My oldest daughter and her friend slowly grew apart over the years after we moved away. And without realizing it, I grew away from my open-door policy regarding friends and playtime.

My younger daughter now has close friends on our new street. But her experience has been the opposite of her older sister’s. In my weariness and reluctance to have a house full of extra kids, she and her friends are often relegated to the yard when spending time together. They are told no more far often than yes when they ask to play inside. Crazy messes are out of the question. And while I certainly have fed my share of extra kids, I am more impatient with snack requests than I ever was with my firstborn.

A few weeks ago, I noticed my daughter’s sweet friend standing outside behind the door, waiting for my daughter to rummage through the kitchen for a glass of water and a snack. Every so often, she’d tentatively peek inside but never once did she make a move to enter.

Clearly, she didn’t think she was allowed inside.

Conviction crashed over my spirit. Having a child think she can’t come inside my home goes against everything I believe about hospitality. I realized in that moment that had let my boundaries and weariness trump my belief that our home is meant to be shared. And this means shared with my kids’ friends, too.

My heart sank as I reflected on how my younger daughter has grown up with so many stringent rules around inside playtime. And I knew I had to make some changes to my attitude. Because I want my kids’ friends to feel just as welcome and wanted here as anyone else.

I held open the door and smiled, inviting her friend inside. Her eyes widened with joy and she rushed to my daughter’s side.

Since that day, I have intentionally answered yes to inside playtime requests. I make sure to have easy snacks on hand like popcorn and pretzels so I don’t get exasperated with the inevitable snack requests. I remind the kids to clean up their messes along the way and remind them that my closet is off limits for a clubhouse. (Because I doubt Jesus, himself, would want kids pulling clothes off hangars and leaving open bags of chips on his closet floor. Just sayin’) Then I turn them loose.

I am committed to teaching my children a Biblical view of hospitality. I want them to understand that homes are not fortresses meant to keep the world out. They aren’t spas where we relax. They aren’t showcases meant to impress invited and scheduled guests. Homes are simply spaces lent to us by God that are meant to be generously used to share His love.

SHOW HOSPITALITY TO ONE ANOTHER WITHOUT GRUMBLING. 1 PETER 4:9

If I know anything about hospitality, I know this: it isn’t convenient. But that’s ok. Because hospitality isn’t about convenience. It is about a belief that your home is meant to be used to bless others. This applies formally and casually. Planned and unplanned. When you feel like it and when you don’t. And the ones God asks you to bless might come in all ages and sizes.

So I plan to invite the kids inside. Even if I am tired. Even if I don’t feel like dealing with extra bodies. And even if they try to eat me out of house and home.

DO NOT NEGLECT TO DO GOOD AND TO SHARE WHAT YOU HAVE, FOR SUCH SACRIFICES ARE PLEASING TO GOD. HEBREWS 13:16

***

This article originally appeared at TwentyShekels.com.


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33 Paranormal Stories Even Skeptics Are Going To Freak Out Over

These paranormal stories from Ask Reddit will make you believe in ghosts.

1. Long story short, multiple people who are not friends with one another have been in my house and seen a woman in a blue dress and then told me about it later. I don’t tell anyone else about it (not even my husband) because it doesn’t bother anything. No big deal right? Any who, I myself have seen her twice.

The first time I woke up in the middle of the night and saw her leaning over the baby’s crib. I immediately sat up and she just faded away. I felt crazy because I didn’t know anyone else had seen her at the time.

The next day I went to Walmart and some lady walks by me and says, “She likes the baby.” I stop and ask what she said and she says, “The woman, in your house. She likes the baby.” Low-key peed my pants and ran home.

2. When I was a little kid, my father used to take me and my two sisters to a railway museum in my city. We loved it but he suddenly stop taking us there. Years later I was told why: every single time that my father took photos of us there, a strange face appeared above my little sister and so he got scared and never brought us there again.

3. First night in my first apartment. Didn’t have a bed so I slept on the couch in the living room. Had a nightmare that someone with a knife was going down the hallway. Just as they got to the living room door, I woke up. I jumped in my car, spent one more night at my parent’s.

Two months later, my roommate falls asleep on the same couch. Next morning he tells me about a dream he had about a guy coming down the hall with a knife, just as he got to the door, my roommate woke up.

Few months later a friend asks if he can crash for a night. Sure, he can sleep on the couch. Next morning he says he had a weird dream. I said, “Guy coming down the hall with a knife?” My roommate added, “You woke up just as he got to the door?” Dude went palest shade of white I ever seen.

4. When I was six or seven, I was going to the bathroom, not bothering to close the door because no one else was home. My parents’ room was directly across a narrow hallway from the bathroom, with their door being pretty close to being entirely open, with only clothes keeping it pushed slightly outward. From where I was, I could see the foot of my parents bed, the wall on the left side of their bed, and the wall which the door was against, being nearly fully open, if that makes sense. Sitting silently, I see a black dress, with no figure inside rise up from behind the left side of my parent’s bed, proceed to float out to the front of the foot of the bed, appearing to float directly towards me, and float behind my parents’ bedroom door. Completely silent, no body, no legs, feet, nothing. Just a black dress. It floated not slowly, but not too quickly, like it didn’t even know I was there and was just casually floating through the house. I was freaked as fuck. I finished my business, and quickly jumped across the hall and slammed the door the other way screaming out of fear and an attempt at being threatening. But nothing was there besides my mom’s robes and pajamas. Since then, I was sure to close the door every time I went to the bathroom. And only recently have I begun going with the door open if no one else is home. And nearly every time I do, the thought of that goes through my head.

5. I have been saved from death 8 times by a spirit guy wearing a bowler hat.

Each time has been different, but I am not the only one who has seen him. He has woken up my father and told him to check the garage. My father found me seizing and choking. I also fell asleep while driving. He turned the car sharply before we went off into a river.

6. When I was around 11 years old, I heard scissors snipping from my parents’ bathroom, which was next to my bedroom. This happened every night from around 1 to around 1:30. After about three months it stopped, and the dream I had that night was about a witch looking thing dragging its nails against my back and the next morning my back was covered in scabs that looked like someone scratched my back.

7. I went on a late night history tour of an old west prison, (supposedly haunted) and felt someone touch me on the shoulder. Looked behind me at the cell door and others on the tour. Turn back around. I distinctly feel three fingers touching my shoulder. I then felt a presence behind me, like the kind you get when you walk past mannequins at clothes stores. But there was no one there inside the cell. This all went within moments. The tour guide told me it’s the “friendly” cell. No one else on the tour experienced anything.

8. I was babysitting my ex’s niece when I was still with him, at their family home. His sister went out with friends that night and my ex was working, so I was alone with baby and my ex’s youngest sister who was only two or so years younger than me. They lived out of the city on a dirt road so they had a BUNCH of land. Their kitchen had large, beautiful windows that almost went from floor to ceiling and you could see over the land where the horses were and some plains and stuff. During the day it was very serene looking out the window because there was no neighbors, nothing you could see more miles except serene tranquility.

This setting changed at night. I was completely terrified of what all of this vast nothingness looked like during dark. I couldn’t see ANYTHING out there, but something could look in and see me. I distinctly remember getting a chill up my spine once the sun had set and shutting the curtains end to end that night I was babysitting. Once it got later in the evening and I was failing miserably at playing Morrowind on a terrible $300 thinkpad laptop (I was not smart), I went into the kitchen to get a drink because it was time to take my meds.

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, I saw that the curtains were wide open. Not just a little bit, but end to end open. I’ve got ADHD, but I would NOT have left those fucking curtains open because their property genuinely scared the shit out of me at night. The baby was asleep, and my ex’s sister didn’t leave my sight all night either so no one would have opened those curtains.

IT HAUNTS ME DUDE, FUCK. I think about it and get all woozy. I try to be rational but I still just can’t explain it.

9. I actually have a bunch of weird paranormal stories, but there’s one that really creeps me out more than the others.

I was about 13, sleeping over at my friend’s mom’s house. She lived in a duplex that the family lived in for 40+ years. She had a couple of kid-cousins over that weekend, so I didn’t think of it when I saw a small blonde boy in a striped tee come around the corner and peek into the room we were hanging out in. My friend asked me who I waved to, and I just said one of your little cousins.

The next morning we went to the other side of the duplex where her grandparents lived, and I saw a picture on the wall of the little blonde boy with the striped tee on, with “in memory of” written on it. I got a chill and asked her who it was, and she said, “Oh that’s my uncle, he got hit by a car right outside the house when he was 7, in the 80s. Why?” I told her that’s the exact little boy I saw outside your room last night, and she just responded with, “Yeah, he likes to say hi to the family sometimes.”

10. I’m convinced the house I lived in during my freshman year of college was haunted. I also swear that all of this is 100% true. I don’t talk about it because it sounds ridiculous but it happened and I can’t explain it.

The house was 120 years old. My room had a door to the attic that I kept locked. I had 4 other roommates who all swear they weren’t fucking with me.

I was laying in bed one day and I heard a super loud crash behind the door of the attic. I grabbed my big male roommate and we opened the door together. At the bottom of the steps (there were 6 awkwardly shallow steps leading up to a bunch of that pink foam stuff and your typical attic) there was an old painting of some lady. We were creeped the fuck out. Nobody had ever seen the painting before (let alone gone into the creepy attic).

We put the painting in the corner of the attic where it COULD NOT fall and didn’t think about it again.

A few months later I heard the same crash. I figured I dreamed or imagined it. Again, I opened the door and found the painting sitting there.

This time I moved the painting into the basement. There were some shelves and I just threw it in the back of the top shelf.

A couple more months went by. Yet again, late one night, I heard the crash from behind the attic door. I thought to myself “no fucking way.”

Grabbed my roommate again and opened the door. THERE IT FUCKING WAS. That god damn painting was sitting at the bottom of the steps again.

I don’t understand how. I kept the door to my room locked as well as the door to the attic. My roommates couldn’t have gotten in there to play a prank. I truly don’t understand it.

After the third time we took the painting out to the fire pit and burned it. Thankfully, all the creepy shit stopped there. I moved the fuck out of that house as soon as the lease was up.

I can’t explain what happened I just know it was creepy as hell and you could not convince me to go back there.

11. One time when I was nine, I tripped down the stairs and was about to hit my head on the ground head first, but then?

I was just standing at the bottom of the steps like I walked down. Still confused to this day.

12. Three times in my life I saw everything around me freeze all at once, but only for half a second each. It’s weird, but by the 3rd time I knew I wasn’t seeing things. I just knew something was up.

13. We were spending the night at my girlfriend’s (now wife, then a few months into our relationship) dorm, as we usually did (alternating between her building and mine).

Suddenly, in the middle of the night (~3 AM?) , we both wake up at the same time for no apparent reason, both feeling really unsettled, scared even.
Both of us somehow have a very distinct feeling of there being someone else in the room, even though we can clearly see there’s no one there as it’s a single room, only ~16m² (170sqft) big.

We calm each other down and go back to bed.

When we wake up in the morning, one picture on her fridge is now hanging upside down. More specifically the only one containing an image of the two of us together.

The weird thing about this, is that the magnet is still on the bottom side of the picture (so it can’t have been gravity) and the picture is still in the EXACT same spot amidst all the other pictures.

A few days later we found out that a girl who lived in her room more than a decade before committed suicide after a breakup with her boyfriend…

When I think of this logically, it sounds like a silly story. But we both still very vividly remember this as scary as fuck, even though we’ve now been together for 12+ years.

14. Long story short, we knew we had a ghost kid at the house after a few drinks I decided to taunt him by laying a beer bottle on its side and saying, “Timmy, if you’re really here, spin the bottle.” A few seconds go by and nothing happens; then every door in the house slammed open. The front door had a deadbolt on.

15. Haunted house growing up. Things would fly off shelves, heavy objects would move with no explanation, electronics would turn on and off in really creepy ways–lights, radios, etc… My sister and I also both remember seeing this shadow thing standing in the hallways on multiple occasions, but we were little so I generally just write that off as kids with too much imagination. But the rest of that shit? Scary stuff and not generally in the realm of “normal,” at least to me.

16. I was pushed down a flight of stairs by an unseen force that felt like hands. It was this creepy old house being rented to university students and my gf had the upper attic floor, with a set of stairs that lead down to the second floor (real stairs, not the fold out kind). There was a lot of weird paranormal shit that happened in this house, but this one event really stood out.

My girlfriend’s friend had just come over wasted drunk and passed out on her bed. It was irritating cause were horny and wanted to hook up. After an hour of trying to get her to wake up to send her home we gave up and decided the couch would be better, plus she was out cold, so we didn’t think she’d know.

So my gf sits down on the couch and I decide I really should brush my teeth, so I tell her I’ll be right back and head for the stairs. I look at her while I’m going down the stairs and wink. At that moment I feel hands hit my back and I literally fall forward and start rolling down the stairs.

Two cracked ribs and I had to be taken out on a stretcher because I could barely breathe and it hurt like hell to stand up. My gf never wanted to believe what I felt and insisted I must have just slipped, but I know I felt strong hands hit my back.

It took her the longest to start believing that place was haunted, but damn was there some paranormal shit. As far as her roommates and I were concerned, by the time everyone was done living in the house, that event was worst that happened because it got physical.

17. I work alone overnight cleaning a restaurant. There have been quite a few scares, but I’d say the most paranormal was when I heard pleading at the back door one night.

It was short and to the point. A woman’s voice said my name and a man’s voice said, “Let us in.”

I went to look out the window that was attached to the door, and no one was there. As I turned to go back to work, it sounded like something slammed into the door. Knocked my ass to the floor and I scrambled up running to safety.

I had the managers look at the recording that morning when they came in and said they saw nothing. This is only one example of a lot of weird shit that goes on there.

18. Street lights turn off when I walk under them. I don’t mean it happened once or twice, it happens all the time at all hours (as long as those lights are on) and anywhere I might be walking. If I walk right under one, they turn off. It used to scare me when I was a kid, now I barely notice.

This is the only “paranormal” thing that has ever happened to me, I think. Then again, I’d probably get killed in a horror movie because I would refuse to believe in the paranormal.

19. When I was a kid, I had slept in my room, and I saw a lady wearing a black outfit was looking at me behind a window curtain. She just smiled at me. I was paralyzed with fear and wasn’t able to scream. I had seen her about three times in different places in my house, just standing and smiling at me. I wasn’t able to do anything, but after I just ran to my parents and screamed, telling them what had just happened. Since then, I haven’t seen her again!

20. A few years ago I had been out of work for 3 months and had given up hope. On top of that, I had been getting 20-30 spam calls a day, so I had turned off my phone.

I was taking a post-lunch nap when I felt a hand grip my shoulder and gently shake me awake, with a voice saying, “Answer your phone.”

I staggered up and went to my desk and turned on my phone before realizing what had happened. Around 15 minutes later I got a call from a recruiter who had been given my name by a former co-worker. Went for the interview, aced it and I’m still at the job.

I’ve had other weird experiences. We live a couple of blocks from the city cemetery. I’m positive we have tourists coming through, but I don’t know if they’re lost, bored or trying to communicate.

21. When I was a growing up, my mom had a wicker/straw angel decoration. It was as big as I was as an 8 year old kid, and for some reason I always hated it. It was creepy yes, but I got a weird/bad feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I looked at it or had to pass by it and I always felt like it was watching me almost.

When my parents divorced, my mom of course brought the angel with her when she moved out, and in our new house, there was a wall in the living room that had a rectangle cut out so you could see though it and my mom hung the thing up in there so It was kinda just hanging in free space. With it being there I swear to god it would just move on its own (there were no vents or anything near it to move it if the furnace came on).

One time I was sitting on the stairs, (putting socks on or whatever) The stairs were across from the cut out wall with a set of 2 more stairs going down between them, and I would see the angel, originally being still, just slowly turn around all the way to face me and then stop, becoming absolutely still. It freaked me the fuck out. It happened on multiple occasions but I don’t know how to explain why or how it happened, I mean it could have been an overactive imagination as a kid but the turning around and just stopping is reallllllllllllly weird.

Call bullshit if you want, but I know what I saw.

22. My house used to be the largest on the lot before our town expanded. It was the largest because it was a funeral home. They sealed off the room with plaster walls where they would prepare the bodies though, underneath the carpet in my parent’s room is a hatch too.

I’ve seen plenty of things, heard plenty of things and friends or family have said things I have seen.

We have a spirit, ghost, whichever you wanna call it that lives here named Abigail. She’s a trickster, she likes to hide things, move things, open doors sometimes or tease our dogs. Whenever my aunt comes to visit with her family small items tend to go missing. Items like her toothbrush that she set by the sink two minutes ago.

The things here, and there are a few, aren’t as active anymore. Or maybe I don’t see them or notice them much.

23. When we were burning my grandma’s belongings, a small vortex of sparks came up and kept following my sister around, regardless of where she moved in the circle, and there was no wind.

24. My mother passed when I was 22. It was an accident and a shock. My husband and I went 3 states away to stay at her house for a bit to pack things up and settle her estate. I have always had really bad problems with my sinuses. Well the stress and everything got me sick and I had a horrible sinus infection. I had medicine and I was on the couch crying after looking everywhere for it. My husband was sitting next to me holding me.

Then we looked over on the table where the bible was opened and the meds where sitting on the bible. The bible had been there earlier… closed. I remember sitting it there myself. My husband started freaking out because on the page it was opened to a verse was underlined. It was the only one in the whole book underlined. It said… . I usually would not put any credence in this. I was sick and a mess. My husband was not. He is a very levelheaded person when it comes to things like this. Also quite a few other things happened for a while after that. I like to think my mother was trying to help me cope. I really hope she finally found peace… I did.

25. I’ve had many experiences since I was a kid, the one that freaked me out the most though actually happened a few months ago.

I’m only 16, I don’t like sleeping in my room so I sleep on the couch in the living room (my choice and it’s actually really comfy). I also suffer from insomnia and have trouble staying asleep. This being said I’m normally awake when my dad gets up for work at 4 in the morning and will wish him a good day at work and such. I was trying to sleep but I woke up. Having gone through this many times I just kept my eyes shut. Then I felt something that felt like a leg lean against the side of the couch and hover over me, and then I heard heavy and low breathing. It was so loud and sounded like a man so I naturally assumed it was my dad. Since I thought he was trying to check if I was awake I whipped around to try and to scare him but nothing was there. I was so confused that I kinda just sat there for a few moments thinking about what just happened.

26. When my son was about 3.5 years old we were driving home at night with him and his 7 year old brother in the back seat. As we approached an area of the road across from my older son’s former babysitter’s house my younger son clearly blurted out the name “Ashley”. Ashley was the name of the babysitter and she had died the year before in a car accident. My younger son had never met her and neither son knew that she lived nearby because she always drove to our home to babysit. When I asked my younger son what he said, he repeated the name Ashley, and when I asked him why he said that he said “Raven” told him to. Raven was his favorite stuffed animal. My wife and I were stunned and cannot explain what happened.

27. I was once in a class around 4th grade. This girl in a white dress appeared somewhere in the classroom. I observed paralyzed and she disappeared. I thought it was my imagination, but the guy next to me asked me, “Did you see that too?” Still freaks me out.

28. At my sister’s old apartment you could see into the kitchen from the living room. The kitchen cabinets would open and close and her dog would immediately start to bark. One night we were watching a movie and we heard something stumble and hit the ground in her kitchen and the dog didn’t even seem to care. I’m pretty sure we heard a ghost trip and eat shit on her kitchen floor.

29. I was in a classroom alone late at night and a guitar in the corner seemingly plucked a string on its own. I left immediately.

I went back the next night (it was finals week) and as I was leaving, I heard 4 loud steps coming down the stairs I was just on. I waited for a minute to see if anyone would come. Nobody did. I did not return at night for a while.

30. I work nights at a hotel. I was setting up coffee one morning a few years back, and I see someone very tall in the kitchen. We make eye contact. Dude’s wearing an olive green jacket and a pair of jeans. After a second, he lifts his legs at the knees and floats out the door.

Now, if I were just seeing things, I’d have panicked. I’ve hallucinated from exhaustion, and the shit I see scares me. This was there. This was real. It must be a guest or something in an employee area. This has happened a couple times. I take off running to catch this guy and tell him he is not permitted back there.

No one is there, because of course not. The back is empty. I am alone. I was still convinced for several minutes that this guy was just hiding from me and he’d have to come out and I’d be able to talk to him.

Almost a full 5 minutes elapsed before I realized I was literally chasing a ghost.

31. A lady’s voice coming from my closet. The door was slightly opened and I heard the voice say, “Help me. I see you through the crack.” I was scared shitless but I also was curious and wanting to help so I opened the door and no one was there. I’ll never forget this, it still gives me goosebumps talking about it.

32. I used to work at a “haunted” hotel at the front desk. There was a room behind the front desk where you could sit when it was late and no one was in the lobby. There was a TV with the security cameras including one on the front desk so you could see if anyone was out there. You could see the whole front desk, including the classic bell that people ring for service. A coworker and I were sitting in the back room, no one up front, and the bell rang. No one, NO ONE was out there. Over the next hour the bell rang 6 or 7 times, but only when we were in the back. I don’t believe in ghosts, but fuck. This was a nice 4 diamond old hotel that had huge ballrooms and dining rooms that I had to walk through late at night when I was alone. When I worked overnights after that as the only employee in the hotel, I would get freaked out, but never really saw anything else “supernatural.”

33. I was working the counter late at night at Tim Hortons. I heard an older lady set down her china mug and say, “Thanks dear!” Turned around and there was no one in the store. I’m okay with a regular dead customer having one last cup.

Related

Read more: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2019/08/33-paranormal-stories-even-skeptics-are-going-to-freak-out-over-2

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“My Husband Ate 12 DOSES of Ex-Lax. He Thought He Was Dying & I Literally Cant Stop Laughing. Im DEAD.”

“Oh my Gosh, I have never laughed so hard in my LIFE!

So last night my husband took some Ex-Lax. Then this morning, some stuff started going down. Like, literally. He looked at the packaging and realized that when it said to eat 1-2 squares, it meant the tiny squares, not an entire block.

He ate 12 DOSES of Ex-Lax.

Facebook/Abby Jiminez

(Husband, baby, I can see where the mistake was made. With that whole block of chocolate wrapped up like one dose, and it flipped backwards like it was, I get it. But good Lawd, I can’t even with this.)

So, I’m calling Poison Control because he thought he was dying, and I literally cannot stop laughing. I’m barely able to talk, I’m laughing so hard. The guy on the other end probably thought it was a prank call. I swear, I hope they record their calls and enjoy that one at the staff meeting later because even thinking about me trying to explain that my 39-year-old husband just ate a whole brick of Ex-Lax is making me wheeze.

The guy was like, ‘The biggest risks are cramping, dehydration, and diaper rash.’

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DIAPER RASH!

I was NOT ready for this dude to come at me with diaper rash. I completely lost it. My husband was so livid (from the bathroom of course). The Poison Control guy kept chuckling and going, “Oh boy. Oooooooh boy. You’ll need to get some Desitin.”

DEAD.

I am not equipped to deal with this kind of crisis. I know it could have been super serious, but OMG

And the funniest part of all is he thought he only took a half dose because he only ate one bar!


Facebook/Abby Jiminez

My husband said the level of diarrhea that hit him was so violent, he immediately knew something was wrong. He said he grabbed the box of Ex-Lax and read it like that scene in the movie Into the Wild when Chris McCandless realizes he’s eaten the wrong berries and he’s going to die.

He’s going to be fine. I’m still crying. I can’t even drink my latte because I keep choking thinking about it and spitting my coffee back into my mug. I had to lay down sideways in a restaurant booth because I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t breathe, three full hours after this happened. I kept clearing my throat on the call with Poison Control like, ‘Ahem. Okay, I know this is serious. Please continue. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!’

He let me share this story. I have no idea why. All I know is it’s a gift to the universe.”

**This post was written by Abby Jiminez and originally appeared on her Facebook page (edited for language) where it has been shared over 200,000 times. Abby is the owner of Nadia Cakes, winner of Food Network’s Cupcake Wars, USA Today Best Selling Author of The Friend Zone, Vageode ™ vagazzler, snack motivated. Connect with her here


Read Next On FaithIt
I Married a Man Who Cleans the Kitchen, and That Has Made All the Difference

Read more: https://faithit.com/husband-12-doses-exlax-humor/

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Which Sonos Speakers Should You Buy?

Here at WIRED, we like Sonos speakers. We really do. Throughout the past eight years, we’ve reviewed all of the company's wirelessly connectable speakers, from its small Play:1 to its Beam soundbar, and we've recommended every one of them. But it’s not cheap to turn your home into a Sonos-powered shrine to sound. Like Apple products, Sonos speakers sell at a premium, starting at $100 for a basic bookshelf speaker. But which ones should you buy? Read on for my recommendations.

Updated August 2019: We've added in the new Sonos/Ikea Symfonisk speakers, which were added to our picks, and updated with info about Google Assistant support, which finally arrived after several delays.

When you buy something using the retail links in our buying guides, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Read more about how this works.

1. Best Sonos Speaker

Sonos One

sonos

The Sonos One (8/10, WIRED Recommends) is just about the smallest Sonos speaker, but it still packs enough oomph to fill most rooms and its hands-free Alexa and Google Assistant integration is a lot of fun. Sonos took the time to make Alexa sound great, and thanks to its voice commands, the Sonos One has become my go-to speaker. Alexa and Google voice commands work like normal (though you must choose between them). It can play music, tell you the weather, find a recipe, and answer simple questions, like any other smart speaker. It also works with Siri via AirPlay 2.

I'll recommend other Sonos speakers in this guide, but you also can’t go wrong just buying two to four Sonos Ones to fill your house up. You get a small discount on orders of two or more. They’re much more affordable and their small size means you can hide them in any room.

Buy the Sonos One for $199 at Amazon and Sonos.com

Play:1 is a Good Alternative: The Play:1 is $150 at Amazon and Sonos.com. It sounds about as good as the Sonos One, but doesn't have touch controls or microphones for Alexa. If you already own a One, it's a good way to add more satellite speakers to your home.

2. Best Speakers to Fill Out a Room

Sonos and Ikea Symfonisk bookshelf speaker

Ikea

With the Symfonisk bookshelf speaker, the entry price for a Sonos speaker has dropped by $50. If you want to network a few speakers together for a larger room, or connected rooms, it's the cheapest way to do it. Sonos collaborated with Ikea on this one, which is why it's more affordable and slightly less pristine than the others in this guide. It's been a while since a Sonos speaker had physical buttons, for one. Looks aside, it sounds almost as good as a Sonos One. You can mount it right to your wall or stand it upright on a bookshelf or table.

It doesn't directly take audio commands because it has no mic, so you'll need a Sonos One, Google speaker, or Alexa speaker that you can yell at if you want to control it with your voice. Other than that, it does everything you'd want a Sonos to do. The Sonos Symfonisk table lamp costs $180 and also sounds great; if you like its style, go for it. Read our dual review to see what they both look like.

Buy the Sonos/Ikea Symfonisk bookshelf speaker for $100 at Ikea

3. Best Party Speaker

Sonos Play:5

sonos

If you really like to party, I recommend adding a Sonos Play:5 (8/10, WIRED Recommends) to your setup. It has enough kick to dial a party up to 11, or just really annoy your neighbors. I placed mine in the largest room of my apartment and it was honestly more power than I needed. Sonos boasts that this model has six Class-D digital amplifiers: three tweeters, three mid-woofers, and a phased speaker array. In practical terms, it will fill a very large room or basement with ease.

Out of the four standard Sonos speakers I tested, this one delivered the largest range of sound, with enough thump to satisfy fans of any genre. It's worth noting that it does not have microphones, so it cannot be used hands-free with Alexa or Google Assistant.

Buy the Play:5 for $499 at Amazon or Sonos.com

4. Best Sonos Soundbar

Sonos Beam

Sonos

The Beam (8/10, WIRED Recommends) is one of three soundbars that Sonos offers. It doesn't sound quite as expansive as the older, larger Playbar, but it is more precise in the upper range and sounds fantastic overall. Its smaller size and extra features are worth the size tradeoff. It's $300 cheaper, too.

Unlike the Playbar, it can connect to your TV via HDMI ARC, letting you turn your tube on and off with your own voice. It has Alexa, Google Assistant, and Airplay 2 built-in. Even if you don't particularly need a voice assistant today, you may change your tune in a few years. If you own a Fire TV Stick (our TV streaming device guide), it's also possible to use basic Alexa commands on the Beam to watch any TV show or movie, though no voice assistant works well enough to replace a remote control yet.

Buy the Sonos Beam for $399 at Amazon or Sonos.com

Save Up for the Subwoofer: Sonos hasn't yet released a more affordable Sub to match the cheaper Beam. The standard Sub is superb, but it will cost you $699 on Sonos or Amazon. Don't bother buying surround speakers until you own a Sub. It will make a more profound difference.

5. Best for Big Home Theaters

Sonos Playbar

SOnos

A soundbar can make all the difference in a home theater, and costs a lot less than a full surround sound setup. The Sonos Beam is great for apartments, but if you really want a powerful soundbar, the Sonos Playbar (8/10, WIRED Recommends) is still the best. With more mid-woofers, it delivers deep bass and has more balance and depth than the Beam or Playbase. It's also built to hang on a wall, but at just over 3-inches tall and 5-inches thick, it can sit in front of most TVs without hassle.

If you plan to spend the extra money to buy the Playbar, try to save up $699 more to get a Sonos Sub. It's the second best investment you can make to improve your home theater experience.

Buy the Playbar for $699 at Amazon or Sonos.com

Playbase is Good for Pedestal TVs: The Playbase (Playbase sounds a little sharper than the Playbar on high treble sounds, like cymbals, but it's still one of the best soundbars you can buy. It's made to sit under your TV and costs $699 at Amazon or Sonos.com.

6. Best Sonos Surround Sound Setup

Sonos Beam, Sub, and 2 Play:1s

Sonos

To enable surround sound with one of its soundbars, Sonos requires two rear speakers, one for the left and one for the right. You can use any two speakers, as long as they're identical. I’ve used two Play:5 speakers, but it’s overkill. Two Sonos One speakers are a better match, but if you are getting a Beam, it has mics in it, so save $100 and get two Play:1 speakers. They sound just as good. You can save another $100 if you buy two Sonos/Ikea Symfonisk speakers, which also sound outstanding.

This is one of the easiest wireless surround sound systems to set up. Simply place the speakers you choose to the left and right of your couch, then open up the Sonos app, add a surround speaker, and follow the instructions while the software does the rest. They don’t add as much benefit as you get from a Beam and Sub combo, but if you watch a lot of movies and want to hear things like TIE Fighters flying over your head in Star Wars, you’ll like the extra surround.

Sonos sells Sanus Speaker Stands for $100 and Wall Mounts for $60. I have not tested these, but do not see any major red flags. More accessories are listed below.

Buy the Beam Sub 3.1 bundle for $1,098 at Amazon (or Sonos.com) and 2 Symfonisk speakers for $200 at Ikea

Not Near an Ikea? Try These Bundles: this Beam 5.1 Surround bundle costs $1,299 at Amazon (Sonos.com) and comes with a Sub and two Play:1s. I recommend it highly. If your room is large, this Playbar 5.1 Surround bundle for $1,678 at Amazon (Sonos.com) sounds phenomenal.

Sonos Accessories

Sonos

Sonos released a few new accessories in 2019. The company has worked with Sanus on stands before, but it now sells a shelf and stands for its smaller speakers. You can also buy them bundled with the Play:1 or Sonos One.

What’s WIRED about Sonos speakers

After flooding my home with every Sonos model you can buy (and filling all remaining space with the boxes of said speakers), I’ve come to value their audio fidelity and ability to seamlessly network together. Here are my favorite aspects of Sonos:

  • Simple Setup: It’s incredibly easy to set up these speakers. The Sonos app guides you through the process of starting a new system, or adding speakers to an existing system. There isn’t another speaker system that lets you string together multiple speakers as easily, or connect them up to stream in different rooms of your home while keeping the audio perfectly in sync.

  • Easy Streaming: The Sonos app supports almost every streaming service in existence, and many apps, like Spotify, let you stream to Sonos speakers within them. The Sonos ecosystem can also handle home theater applications, and can support a full surround sound setup.

All Major Voice Assistants: Unlike most "smart" speakers, Sonos speakers will connect to any one of the big three voice assistants: Amazon's Alexa, Google Assistant, or Apple Airplay 2. You do have to choose one assistant at a time, but they're fully functional, with the exception of some phone calling functionality through Alexa.

  • They Sound Amazing: Sonos speakers are all high quality and deliver consistent, appealing sound. It’s easy to argue that Sonos hardware is too expensive, but it's difficult to fault the way they sound. Not every Sonos speaker is the same, but they have an elegant synergy and sound that no other speaker system seems to have. If you have a few speakers in a room, it’s hard to tell where the sound is coming from. The crystal clear music engulfs you.

  • Spotify Voice Controls: Spotify can now be accessed using Alexa or Google Assistant voice control on the Sonos One and Sonos Beam. If you have one of these speakers, you can set Spotify as your default music service. Then, when you ask Alexa or Google to play something, it plays it directly from Spotify. (Of course, you can set any available music service as your default: Amazon, YouTube Music, and so on.)

What’s TIRED about Sonos speakers

As amazing as Sonos speakers sound, and as seamlessly as they connect together, they still have some limitations, both in application and technology. We don’t think these are dealbreakers (yet), but you might.

  • Aging Connectivity: The tweeters and woofers inside Sonos speakers still sound amazing, but the way they connect to your network (or TV) is dated. Sonos speakers only have 2.4 GHz Wi-Fi 802.11 a/b/g, which means that they cannot connect on the sometimes faster/cleaner 5 GHz frequency commonly used today (though some of them do use 5 GHz to communicate with each other). I have yet to notice loss in fidelity or have dropouts on a Sonos, but the lack of support for today's Wi-Fi standards, including N/AC, may eventually haunt these speakers. If you do have issues, the best solution is to connect one of your Sonos speakers directly via ethernet. It will share its faster connection with the others. Sonos’ soundbars (except the Beam) also rely on optical cables, lacking modern ports like HDMI, and newer standards like Dolby Atmos. They do still sound amazing, though.

  • No Batteries or Bluetooth: None of the speakers have battery power or Bluetooth, so you cannot use them outside of your home. You can unplug and move them from room to room, but it's not exactly encouraged—the app has you tune their sound to each space and give them names like "Kitchen."

  • You Must Use the Sonos App (mostly): Sonos has done an admirable job updating its speakers with new features through its app, but the app is still the only way to listen to some sources of music. Sonos is slowly freeing services from its app, allowing you to directly broadcast to any speaker within the normal Spotify, Tidal, Audible, and Pandora apps, for instance. For others, you’re still stuck using the Sonos app, which functions fine, but isn’t ideal.


More Great Sonos Stories from WIRED

Read more: https://www.wired.com/story/best-sonos-speakers-buying-guide/

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30 Myths About Men Its About Time To Shatter

These men from Ask Reddit want to set things straight.

1.  I give a shit about my wedding day. I cannot believe the amount of people (mostly ladies) who just straight up assumed, “All you have to remember is where to be and to say I do right? Haw haw haw.” Fucking annoying. I had ideas of how I wanted it to look and how I wanted it to go as well. But my goodness, not a single person thought I gave a shit even though I constantly was trying to give my take on stuff. It was always met with, “Oh you don’t need to worry about that” or “oh the ladies will figure that out.” Like, this is infuriating.

2. If we take long in the bathroom, we are not always jacking off, sometimes we’re just enjoying a long shower or browsing memes.

3. How we can’t do laundry, cook, raise kids, or anything without our wives coming to show us how.

Look, assholes, I’m single and I do all my own cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc. I have never stared at a mop like it was a plasma death ray, nor have I ever had to rush out to buy dinner because I burned mine (well, a few times when drunk, but that’s not the same thing).

I also am capable of taking care of a baby without having to call a woman to give me directions.

4. That we are emotionless. Sometimes it is not the right situation to show how you are feeling. Just because I am not showing it doesn’t mean I am not feeling it.

5. I have personally never talked to a guy friend about how their girlfriends are in bed, or really anything about their sex lives.

6. We actually love the attention just as much as women do. And cuddling too.

7. We think about sex every 7 seconds.

8. That men don’t have self-image issues. You only get to hear about body positivity when it’s about women’s bodies.

9. “Men have to make the first move.” This is in the context of relationships, not sex. I. hate. this.

10. That all men cheat. I know just as many women that cheat, as well.

11. That every erection means that we are horny.

12. If a man refuses sex , then he is no longer interested in his SO or finds her unappealing or has a side chick. Some days are so stressful that we just want to hit the bed and sleep.

13. Masturbation means we’re sexually unsatisfied. Does having dessert mean that I hated dinner?

14. Men aren’t always okay. Most men are in severe need of emotional support but are so deprived of it because if we ask for help we are seen as weak or unattractive.

15. That we are inherently violent. I’m hard pressed to find anyone violent. In 2019, with the exception of public freak outs, people in general seem to avoid conflicts at all cost.

16. Most men have zero issue asking for directions. I don’t like being lost, it’s god damn annoying.

17. That if we turn down sex/unwanted sexual advances there’s something wrong with us, or that we should enjoy/be grateful every time we get approached. No, I don’t like the fact that stranger just grabbed my ass and tried to stick her tongue down my throat. Wtf is wrong with you?

18. “All men are the same.” First of all, don’t mix us up with your stupid ex.

19. I like cute things and it does not emasculate me to talk about them. I baby talk at my dogs (don’t fucking act like you don’t), I like pointless anime garbage that’s sole purpose is to tickle the cute sensors in your brain, and I like seeing girls wear cute clothes regardless of whether or not I want to see those clothes come off.

Now, I said it doesn’t emasculate me to enjoy these things, but I still can’t do it out loud because everyone else is such an insecure pussy that I’ll get harassed until the cows come home and leave and come back again.

20. Men love it when women drop hints instead of being blunt. No, that shit’s confusing.

21. That we need soap, shampoo, and conditioner all in one, because we don’t know how to wash our ass correctly.

22. That men cant be victims of abuse or domestic violence from women. Yeah, we can, and statistically, if we report it, there’s a solid chance that we’ll be the ones going to jail for it, even if all we did was take it and not fight back. Screw that.

23. That only creepy men enjoy being around children.

24. Men don’t cry.

25. Men only talk to women because they want something from them.

26. Apparently gender roles only exist when it comes to fixing something. I don’t know why my wife continues to think that because I was born with a penis, I know how to re-finish a deck, or repair our dryer, or put new lighting up in our kitchen….

27. I fucking LOVE Bath and Body Works.

I love mojitos, margs, and other fruity cocktails.

I will always buy pads/tampons when asked.

I cry sometimes.

I can point out/notice a good-looking guy (as a straight guy). This is the one that gets me the most – sometimes I feel like I can’t compliment a new haircut or whatever. I hate the “no homo” thing – a compliment isn’t gay unless you make it gay!!!

28. That they don’t need compliments. I hate it when I do it to my male friends and some other acquaintance will overhear and tease me for it. But when I do it to a female friend, nobody gives shit. I believe that guys deserve to be complimented sincerely once in a while, like everybody else.

29. I wouldn’t call it a myth, but when a guy is helpful around the house and just courteous in general, sometimes a woman will say, “your wife/girlfriend has trained you well!” No, we managed to become decent human beings without a woman’s help, fuck you very much.

30. I hate when I out with my kids people jokingly say, “Are you on Daddy duty?” I’ve never heard someone ask a mom if she’s on Mommy Duty. It’s assumed that men don’t take their kids places and it really annoys me because I work full time but I also get my kids ready in the morning, cook them breakfast, prepare their lunches, eat lunch with them at school once per week, bring them to most doctor and dentist appointments.

Related

Read more: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2019/07/30-myths-about-men-its-about-time-to-shatter

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A 6-Year-Old YouTuber Bought An $8 Million House In South Korea… – Perez Hilton

Playtime has never been a more lucrative career.

A 6-year-old South Korean girl purchased a five-story, multi-million dollar property in Seoul earlier this year — all thanks to her YouTube empire.

According to reports, Boram (picture above) bought the 9.5 billion Korean won ($8 million) pad in the suburb of Gangnam through the Boram Family company, which was set up by her parents. The internet star boasts over 30 million subscribers between her two popular YouTube accounts: a toy review channel with 13.6 million subscribers and a video blog account with 17.6 million subscribers. 

For the most part, Boram’s content is probably what you’d expect it to be. One of her most popular videos follows the child making instant noodles using a plastic toy kitchen and then animatedly eating them for the camera.

As we reported, the highest earning YouTuber last year was 7-year-old Ryan Kaji, the star of Ryan ToysReview, who earned an estimated $22 million through his channel in 2018. Since launching the channel in 2015, Ryan has attracted over 20.8 million subscribers with videos showing him reviewing toys and games, playing with his mom and dad, and performing a few fun “challenges.”

Another prolific toy reviewer is 5-year-old Tydus, who appears on his family’s YouTube channel Trav and Cor, which has 3.1 million subscribers.

There are several ways in which YouTubers can make bank. Many big time vloggers take a cut of the ads that play on their videos and partner with brands to sell merch or include products in their videos. In Boram’s case, she sometimes links to the products featured in her video reviews.

It’s turning into a YouTuber’s world, Perezcious readers… whether you like and subscribe to it or not.

[Image via YouTube]

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Read more: https://perezhilton.com/boram-youtube-million-house-south-korea/

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What to expect from Samsungs Galaxy Note event

Samsung’s never been particularly good at keeping things under wraps. That’s no doubt, at least in part, by design. The company loves priming the rumor pump ahead of product announcements, and like clockwork, we’ve already seen plenty of what we expect is planned for next Wednesday’s Unpacked event in Brooklyn.

Samsung targets iPad Pro with the Galaxy Tab S6

Earlier this week, Samsung announced the Galaxy Tab S6, its latest shot against the iPad Pro. Doing low-key product announcements ahead of events has become a bit of a thing of late. Apple and Google both did it earlier this year. Among other things, it’s a way of letting the world know that you’ve got more stuff to announce than a single event could possibly hold.

It seems like Samsung’s got a fair amount lined up for Wednesday, but the big show at Barclays is really about one thing:

The Galaxy Note 10

Screen

Duh, right?

If there’s one thing Samsung likes more than devices, it’s a lot of devices. Following on the heels of a bunch of new Galaxy S devices, the company is expected to release between two and three new models.

The big news here is the expected addition of a Plus or Pro model. For whatever percentage of the population that’s been holding off on buying a Note over concerns that the screen just isn’t large enough, the new model is a expected to support a 6.8-inch display compared to the standard Note’s 6.3 (both AMOLED). That’s definite tablet territory, but Samsung’s made great strides on the body-to-screen ratio front, so it may not be the size and weight of a manhole cover.

A third model, which is more wishful thinking than full-on rumor for now, has the company releasing a 5G model. It makes sense from a strategy standpoint. Samsung released an everything-and-the-kitchen-sink version of the S10 with 5G last month, and the company clearly prides itself at being one of the first to bring the tech to market — even though carriers haven’t really caught up.

Samsung Galaxy Note 9 review

Rumors point to a triple-lens camera this time out, including a 16-megapixel ultra-wide on board, while the Pro/Plus is getting a depth-sensing time of flight sensor. Internally, we expect the addition of the Snapdragon 855 Plus. The Note would be among the first to sport the newly souped-up chip announced by Qualcomm a couple of weeks back.

Charging is expected to be sped up to support the beefy 3,600mAh/4,300mAh batteries, and 8/12GB of RAM are expected on the standard and Plus models, along with 25GB of storage.

Oh yeah, and then there’s that dongle.

Galaxy Watch Active 2

Screen

It’s been less than half a year since Samsung showed off the original Galaxy Watch Active, but the company is rumored to already be ready for part two. Available in both 40 and 44mm versions, the watches are said to bring ECG detection and fall monitoring, following recent additions for the Apple Watch. Rumors also point to the removal of the spinning physical bezel in favor of a touch version.

Etc.

DSCF5301

More information on the Galaxy Fold seems like a no-brainer. We got a rough time frame of September a couple of weeks back. I’d anticipate something more specific on the long-awaited and much-delayed foldable, along with some more information on those fixes.

Similarly MIA is the Galaxy Home, which was announced this time last year. We still don’t have a specific date on the company’s HomePod competitor, in spite of rumors that the company was already working on a cheaper version. Or maybe Samsung would rather sweep the Bixby delivery device under the carpet altogether?

All will be revealed on Wednesday, August 7, starting at 1PM ET/11AM PT.

Read more: https://techcrunch.com/2019/08/02/what-to-expect-from-samsungs-galaxy-note-event/

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