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Dejbox wants to deliver food to offices in business districts at scale

Meet Dejbox, a French food delivery startup that tries to avoid busy cities in order to accommodate people who really need a new lunch option. The company is a food delivery startup that designs its own meals and works with other companies to cook them, sell them and deliver them.

“Corporate headquarters are more and more often far from city centers. But what about lunch options for those areas?,” co-founder and co-CEO Vincent Dupied told me.

Answering this question creates logistical challenges more than anything else. It’s hard to cover wide areas that are spread out all around busy cities, such as Paris, Lille and Lyon. And Dejbox has made some radical decisions that set them apart from well-known companies, such as Deliveroo, Uber Eats or even Frichti.

Each delivery person drives a truck with 100 to 150 meals. This way, they can deliver to multiple offices during one run. It means that customers can’t just order something and get it 30 minutes later.

They need to complete their order before 10:30am or 11am to get it for lunch time. And, of course, you also can order multiple days in advance in case you don’t want to think about lunch for the rest of the week.

vue

When it comes to sales, Dejbox tries to spot the most promising companies to pitch them the service. After that, multiple employees usually order from Dejbox every day. It means that delivery persons carry multiple meals and leave them in the kitchen or at the reception desk.

“Our delivery persons are a bit like mail carriers, they have the same itinerary every day and their own clients,” Dupied said.

That’s why Dejbox wants to empower its delivery staff as much as possible. They’re all full-time employees and they get monthly reports telling them how much revenue they’ve generated for the company.

vinc

This combination of low customer acquisition cost, low unit economics and high lifetime value has been working well. Partech first spotted them at the end of 2015 and invested a tiny $560,000 seed round (€500,000). Dejbox was only delivering 80 meals per day in the Lille area back then.

The startup quickly expanded to Paris and Lyon with the same focus on corporate headquarters in boring areas. In March 2017, Dejbox raised a $2.3 million Series A round (€2 million) from Partech and Leap Ventures. The company launched in Bordeaux a few months later.

And the company is quite transparent when it comes to metrics. During the first ~18 months, the startup generated $1.4 million in revenue, $4.5 million in 2017 and $11.3 million in 2018 (€1.2 million, €4 million and €10 million, respectively).

This year, the company plans to generate $22.5 million in revenue (€20 million) and open in two new cities — Nantes and Grenoble. Dejbox now delivers to 10,000 people every day.

formule

Read more: https://techcrunch.com/2019/07/12/dejbox-wants-to-deliver-food-to-offices-in-business-districts-at-scale/

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Nighttime Exposure To Blue Light Could Encourage Sugary Snack Consumption (In Rats)

In our screen-addled age, blue light is an unavoidable part of daily life. It radiates from your work desktop, your smartphone, and even the energy-saving LED lights you installed in the kitchen.

While research into the negative health effects of blue light is not fully conclusive, it has been linked to various ailments from cancer and diabetes to heart disease, obesity, and poorer sleep. To add to that list, scientists presenting at this year’s conference of the Society for the Study of Ingestive Behavior (SSIB) say that blue light can trigger excessive sugary snack consumption – at least in rats.

The study found an hour of blue light exposure at night (aka: just enough time to watch an episode of The Crown or precisely six-tenths of Finding Nemo) led to elevated blood sugar levels and increased sugar consumption among male rats. The researchers note that their glucose-tolerance levels changed post-exposure – a warning sign of pre-diabetes.

Over the course of the study, the rats had their choice of nutritionally balanced food (i.e. standard rodent food), water, lard, and sugar water. When exposed to blue light at night – even for as short a time as one hour – they drank more sugar than when not. The rats were tested following a night of blue light exposure but more consistent exposure levels could result in weight gain and a diabetes diagnosis.

Though it is important to note that these observations were made in rats (and male rats specifically), the researchers warn that a similar process could be at work in people (and men, in particular) who are tied to their screens.

“Limiting the amount of time that we spend in front of screens at night is, for now, the best measure to protect ourselves from the harmful effects of blue light,” said Anayanci Masís-Vargas from the University of Strasbourg, France, in a statement. “In case it is necessary to be exposed to devices at night, I would recommend the use of apps and night mode features on the devices, which turn the screens more orange and less blue or the use of blue light filtering googles that are already available in the market.”

While the study has thrown up some interesting results, future studies will hopefully confirm whether or not the findings can be replicated in humans. As we have found time and time again (often to our detriment), animal models are a useful but not necessarily fool-proof method of biomedical research and what may be true in rats (or mice) may not be true in humans.

What’s more, many studies (including the one here) limit the trials to one sex, usually male. In practice, this may mean the results apply less to women than they do to men.  

It might also be worth remembering that while blue light has received a lot of negative press lately, it’s not all bad. Indeed, the vast majority of blue light exposure comes from the sun and during daytime can boost attention, reaction times, and mood. The problem comes at night when it can push the circadian rhythm out of whack, making it harder to sleep.

Rahul Khurana, MD, a spokesperson for the American Academy of Ophthalmology, recommends limiting screen time two to three hours before bed – or switching to a nighttime setting if necessary.

Read more: https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/nighttime-exposure-to-blue-light-could-encourage-sugary-snack-consumption-in-rats/

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‘I, too, sing America’: readers share poetry to conquer hate

After four congresswomen faced racist attacks last week, we asked Guardian readers to share inspiring lines from poems and literature about overcoming hate

After a chant of send her back broke out at Donald Trumps rally in North Carolina last week, the Minnesota congresswoman Ilhan Omar responded by posting several lines from the Maya Angelou poem Still I Rise on Twitter.

Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN)

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, Ill rise.

-Maya Angelou https://t.co/46jcXSXF0B

July 18, 2019

The Guardian and Pen America asked a number of writers and poets including Min Jin Lee, Gregory Pardlo and Andrew Solomon to share favorite lines from poetry and literature about overcoming hatred.

We also asked you, our readers, to share favorite lines. What follows is a selection of your submissions.

I dont need your praise
to survive. I was here first,
before you were here, before
you ever planted a garden.
And Ill be here when only the sun and moon
are left, and the sea, and the wide field.

I will constitute the field.

excerpt from Witchgrass by Louise Glck

We grow up forgetting
our incidental placements
become fond of whatever
bread and religion we are fed.

excerpt from I Didnt Ask For My Parents by Sholeh Wolp

Nobel
The Nobel peace prize winner Martin Luther King Jr and his wife, Coretta, arrive to deliver the traditional address at the University of Oslo on 11 December 1964. Photograph: Anonymous/AP

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality.

excerpt from Martin Luther King Jrs Nobel peace prize acceptance speech

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
Ill be at the table
When company comes.

excerpt from I, Too by Langston Hughes

Remember the earth whose skin you are:
red earth, black earth, yellow earth, white earth
brown earth, we are earth.
Remember the plants, trees, animal life who all have their
tribes, their families, their histories, too. Talk to them,
listen to them. They are alive poems.
Remember the wind. Remember her voice. She knows the
origin of this universe.
Remember you are all people and all people
are you.
Remember you are this universe and this
universe is you.
Remember all is in motion, is growing, is you.
Remember language comes from this.
Remember the dance language is, that life is.
Remember.

excerpt from Remember by Joy Harjo

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/jul/25/poetry-conquer-hate-ilhan-omar-maya-angelou

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KitchenAid Mixers Are Almost 50% Off Today For Prime Day & Selling Out Fast

These Prime Day KitchenAid Mixer Deals Are Almost Too Good To Be True

Prime Day is finally here, which means it’s time to fill your house with the latest and greatest gadgets without breaking the bank. Whether you’re looking for new speakers, an upgraded TV, high-tech kitchen appliances, or anything in between, Amazon has you covered. More specifically, if you’re on the lookout for Amazon Prime Day’s KitchenAid Mixer deal, look no further. The must-have appliance is on sale right now, which means you can order it on the cheap and add it to your kitchen.

Before you grab your wallet and head to Amazon.com in pursuit of the mixer, you’ll have to keep a few things in mind. For starters, only Amazon Prime members will be able to score the discounted items on Prime Day. If you aren’t a Prime member yet, you can sign up for a free 30-day trial and join in on the fun. If you end up Prime (which, I’m sure you will), you’ll be able to keep the subscription going for $12.99 per month. However, if you’d rather save money and quit your Prime membership before it officially starts, you can cancel your subscription before your free trial ends.

Still, whether you’re a dedicated Prime member or someone who’s just trying it out, you’ll be able to partake in the Prime Day deals, like the KitchenAid Mixer.

Now, let’s talk about the KitchenAid Mixer. At the time of publication, the 5-quart artisan design series with glass bowl costs appliance normally costs $459.99, but the Prime Day flash sale has it going for only $239.99, which is nearly 50% off the normally pricy appliance.

Almost 50% Off KitchenAid Mixers

KitchenAid KSM155GBAZ 5-Qt. Artisan Design Series with Glass Bowl

$460

$240

|

Amazon

Keep in mind that there are three colors on sale: Azure Blue, Candy Apple Red, and Sugar Pearl Silver. As of publication, the silver color is selling the fastest, and the red color has the most units still available. No matter which color you get, saving 50% off the must-have kitchen appliance is still a steal.

See? It’s a pretty great deal. If you’re hoping to take advantage of it, you better act soon. As always, Prime Day doesn’t last forever. This year’s event longer that last year’s, though. Those of you who shopped in 2018 might remember the event being 36 hours long. Believe it or not, this year’s Prime Day will last 48 hours and end at 11:59 p.m. PT on July 16. That gives you just enough time to search for your fave appliances without feeling the need to rush through your shopping spree.

Read more: https://www.elitedaily.com/p/these-prime-day-kitchenaid-mixer-deals-are-almost-too-good-to-be-true-18192387

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Woman details finding a rat in her toilet, horrifying the internet

Writer Nicole Cliffe gave many a phobia they didnt realize they had after detailing the story of how one of her children found a rat inside their family toilet on Twitter.

Half an hour after the kids went to bed, one of them came to Steve in the kitchen and said they couldnt poop bc there was a rat in their toilet, Cliffe wrote. Reader, there was a rat in their toilet.


Some readers will now forever check their toilet bowls before sitting down to do the business.

No. NO. I HAVE LITERAL NIGHTMARES ABOUT THIS AND SOMETIMES HAVE TO GET OFF THE TOILET MID-PEE JUST TO CHECK IF I FORGOT TO LOOK BEFORE I SAT DOWN, one user wrote.

Sadie Roberts-Joseph, Founder Of African American Museum, Found Dead In Car Trunk

BATON ROUGE, La. (AP) — A 75-year-old Louisiana woman who founded an African American history museum was discovered dead in the trunk of a car, and police said Saturday that investigators were working diligently to find those responsible.

Baton Rouge police Sgt. L’Jean McKneely said investigators were still waiting for a coroner to determine a cause of death for Sadie Roberts-Joseph after her body was found Friday afternoon.

The Advocate reported Roberts-Joseph was the founder and curator of the Baton Rouge African American Museum, which she started in 2001. The museum sits on the campus of New St. Luke Baptist Church, where Roberts-Joseph’s brother is pastor.


Sadie Roberts-Joseph (right), talks with Gov. Kathleen Blanco (left) before the start of the Stand Up for Children 2004 Rally for Children on the steps of the State Capitol in Baton Rouge.

“Ms. Sadie was a tireless advocate of peace,” the Baton Rouge Police Department posted on its Facebook page, adding: “Our detectives are working diligently to bring the person or persons responsible for this heinous act to justice.”

Roberts-Joseph also organized an annual Juneteenth festival at the museum, marking the date June 19, 1865, when Union soldiers delivered belated news to Texas that President Abraham Lincoln had signed the Emancipation Proclamation, declaring all Southern slaves free. The document had been finalized more than two years earlier.

The museum features African art, exhibits on growing cotton and black inventors as well as a 1953 bus from the period of civil rights boycotts in Baton Rouge. It also has prominent exhibits on President Barack Obama, whose presidency Roberts-Joseph cited as an inspiration to children.

“We have to be educated about our history and other people’s history,” Roberts-Joseph told the newspaper in 2016. “Across racial lines, the community can help to build a better Baton Rouge, a better state and a better nation.”

Beatrice Johnson, one of Roberts-Joseph’s 11 siblings, lives two doors down from her sister’s home on a quiet street in Baton Rouge. She said Roberts-Joseph would come by every day. Johnson said her sister came over Friday because “she had mixed some cornbread, but her oven went out, and she brought it here to put in the oven.”

Gesturing toward her kitchen, Johnson said: “The bread is still there. She never came back to get it.”

Read more: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/black-museum-founder-dead-sadie-roberts-joseph_n_5d2a47e5e4b02a5a5d5bcfc5

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17 Life Hacks Every Adult Should Know

Life as an adult can be tricky, and we’ll pretty much embrace anything that makes it easier. Here are a few low-key genius hacks that will solve those everyday problems you didn’t even know had solutions.

Use this plastic wrap travel hack to save your luggage from leaky bottles.

There’s no horror equal to that of unzipping your suitcase and find a puddle of shampoo at the bottom. Avoid that scenario by using this clever travel hack: unscrew a bottle top, place a small piece of plastic wrap over the opening, and screw the cap back on. Done.

Make your own tablet display with a few Command hooks

You don’t need an expensive wall-mount system for your tablet. All you need is a handful of Command hooks, according to some Reddit users. Simply attach two of the non-destructive hooks to your wall to support the bottom of your tablet and another one above — and upside down — to keep your device from falling forwards. Slide your tablet in from the side and you’re ready to go.

This Band-Aid hack will make your life so much better.

You probably know the struggle of trying to wrangle a Band-Aid around the tip of your finger. This hack, outlined by 5-Minute Craft, solves the problem by cutting the side tabs lengthwise. They can then overlap and stay more securely on your finger. Perfect for those nasty paper cuts.

Use a piece of spaghetti to light hard-to-reach candle wicks.


Use a piece of spaghetti to light hard-to-reach candle wicks. Amanda Steed/Shutterstock

When you can’t quite reach the wick of a candle that has burned low, light up the end of a piece of spaghetti. You’ll then be able to bring the flame to the wick with ease and without burning your hand on an upside down lighter or match.

You’ve been peeling Post-Its wrong your whole life

Hate the way Post-its tend to curl at the ends after you peel them from the stack? Instead of grabbing the bottom of a note and pulling it upwards, grab the note from one of the top corners (on the sticky end) and pull sideways, according to Reddit. The note will leave the stack smoothly and be perfectly flat.

Don’t throw out those mini liquor bottles when they’re empty.

Those tiny bottles are actually the perfect size for storing single-portion servings of salad dressing, according to Reddit. Wash a few out (well) and toss one in your lunchbox for a mess-free way to add some kick to a healthy work lunch.

Chill your wine in the glass with a few frozen grapes.

Don’t want to wait for an entire bottle of wine to chill in the fridge but can’t stand the thought of watering down a glass with ice cubes? Plop in a few frozen grapes and you’re all set. If you don’t have frozen grapes on hand, other frozen fruit like strawberries or blueberries work as well.

Use towel racks to keep your pot lids tidy


Pot lids can be organized with a towel rack. Shutterstock

If storing your pot lids on your pots isn’t an option, use this towel rack hack to keep yourself from losing your mind every time you open your kitchen cupboards. Just mount one or two racks on the inside of your cupboard doors to secure the lids and keep them organized.

Keep kids happy in the shade with a DIY sandbox

Fill an old tent with sand and toss in a few shovels to keep your kids (or yourself) occupied for hours. The tent provides protection against the sun and keeps the sand contained without the need to nail together an actual wooden box. And when the fun’s over, cleanup is a breeze.

Always know if your eggs are fresh with this hack

Never throw out perfectly good eggs again. Just place your eggs in a bowl of water and notice how they behave. Very fresh eggs will lie on the bottom fully on their sides. One-week-old eggs will sit at an angle on the bottom of the bowl. Stale eggs that are two to three weeks old will rest on the bottom of the bowl with their rounded ends towards the surface. Very old eggs will float.

Flat irons work on more than just hair

You can spruce up a wrinkled collar, cuff, or dress hem without an iron. Set your straightening iron on its lowest setting and use it to smooth away fabric wrinkles. You may want to test the iron on an inconspicuous area of the fabric first.

Use a bobby pin to help you save money on toothpaste.

Never waste a single squirt of your toothpaste again. When your tube is getting empty and you’re struggling to extract the contents, roll up the end of the tube and secure the rolled portion with a bobby pin, according to blogger Bob Vila. You can slide a bobby pin along the length of the tube to move the toothpaste to the opening.

Take a photo of your luggage before you leave for the airport

If your stuff is lost or damaged by the airline in transit, this will make it easier for officials to identify your bag or help you prove that the damage was not there before your flight, according to Lifehacker. Be sure to take photographs of the contents as well.

If you ever find a lost wallet or drivers license, just put it in a mailbox to return it


Wallets and IDs can easily be mailed back to owners. Vera Kandybovich/Shutterstock

The postal service will return any motor vehicle license or government issued ID that has an address on it. Simply stick it in any mailbox, no envelope or postage required, according to Lifehacker. However, the person on the receiving end will have to pay the cost of postage to get it back.

This also works for wallets, though you might want to check in with the local police department first to see if anyone has reported it missing.

Keep your dog’s paws safe with the five-second rule.

If it’s a hot day and your pooch is begging you for a walk, place the back of your hand on the pavement, according to PopSugar. If you can’t keep it there for more than five seconds, it’s too hot for your dog’s paws.

It’s smarter to order one large pizza rather a couple mediums

If you do the math, an 18-inch pizza is actually more pizza than two 12-inch pizzas, according to this mind-blowing thread on Reddit. Spend a few more bucks on a large instead of doubling your expense on two 12-inch pies.

If you have to use a hotel iron, test it on a towel first

Some hotel irons may have brown-colored mineral deposits in them from lack of upkeep. Grab a towel and test the first few puffs of steam on that rather than your clean clothing, according to Reddit.

Read the original article on Business Insider. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Copyright 2019.

Read next on Business Insider: Here’s what life is like in Tórshavn, Faroe Islands, one of the world’s smallest capital cities

Read more: https://www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/17-life-hacks-every-adult-should-know-1/

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DNA shows remains found at Virginia trash incinerator are those of missing toddler

Read more: https://www.foxnews.com/us/dna-remains-virginia-trash-incinerator-missing-toddler

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“Im Not Everyones Cup of Tea. Im Too Loud. Too Quiet. A Mom Who Could Lose a Few Pounds. We Try to Bend 50 Different Ways to Fit a Mold. But, For What?”

“I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

I’m too much for some people. Too loud; too outspoken. I talk too much. I voice my opinions far too often and forget the filter.

To others, I am too quiet. Shy. Off putting. Maybe even stuck up.

To some I’m just a mom. A mom who could stand to lose a few pounds. Someone who needs to get it together. I’m disheveled – a hot mess. I make lists only to forget them on my kitchen counter.

To others I’m too career driven, too organized; by the book. A control freak, too structured. A planner.

Become A Contributor

Do you see a trend here? I’m always going to be too much for some and not enough for others, when in reality I’m both. I’m equal parts loud and quiet. I’m career driven and a hot mess mama.

As women, we worry so much about what other people think or what we think they might be thinking. We create judgments in our own heads. We hear undertone where it’s not even meant to exist. We over-analyze text messages. We worry why we didn’t get the invite. We see glances and whispers and assume they must be directed at us.

We waste so much of our time worrying about what other people’s opinions of us are. We try so hard to bend ourselves fifty different ways to fit a mold in hopes of somehow satisfying everyone else, only to leave ourselves feeling empty.

But, why? For what?

Approval?

Sister, we are far beyond the years of needing someone else’s approval.

This is YOUR motherhood. This is your journey.

If you want to work, work.
If you want to be a stay at home mom, do it.
If you laugh too loudly or people don’t get your sense of humor, who cares.
If painting or writing, or any other thing brings you joy, chase it.
If you want to breastfeed your baby on the subway, be prideful.
If you are quiet and people think you are stuck up, that’s their loss, sister.
If you didn’t bake anything for the annual bake sale, but managed to run by the grocery store to pick up cookies, set them on the table with confidence.

Stop apologizing. Stop worrying about what other people think. I know. I know. Heaven forbid we offend someone … GASP.

Obviously, if you have done something to truly hurt someone, by all means own it. Apologize. Do the right thing, but stop apologizing for things that are your choice.

Stop doubting your own decisions. Stop looking over your shoulder. Stop trying to please everyone else.

Because, people? Well, people are always going to have an opinion. I’m just at the point in my life where I can finally say – LET THEM and I think you are, too.

People aren’t always going to agree with you. In fact, some people aren’t going to like you for no other reason than because they can. Is it fair? No. But it’s OK. Don’t be afraid to go against the tide; to do your own thing without question or hesitation. Do the thing that sets your soul on fire, regardless of what others think.

Be who you were made to be, not who others want you to be.

Because you’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea, just like I’m not. But, those people? They aren’t your people.”


Courtesy of Jennifer

Read more: https://faithit.com/not-everyone-cupt-tea-too-loud-too-quiet-lose-few-pounds/

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These robo-ants can work together in swarms to navigate tricky terrain

While the agility of a Spot or Atlas robot is something to behold, there’s a special merit reserved for tiny, simple robots that work not as a versatile individual but as an adaptable group. These “tribots” are built on the model of ants, and like them can work together to overcome obstacles with teamwork.

Developed by EPFL and Osaka University, tribots are tiny, light and simple, moving more like inchworms than ants, but able to fling themselves up and forward if necessary. The bots themselves and the system they make up are modeled on trap-jaw ants, which alternate between crawling and jumping, and work (as do most other ants) in fluid roles like explorer, worker and leader. Each robot is not itself very intelligent, but they are controlled as a collective that deploys their abilities intelligently.

In this case a team of tribots might be expected to get from one end of a piece of complex terrain to another. An explorer could move ahead, sensing obstacles and relaying their locations and dimensions to the rest of the team. The leader can then assign worker units to head over to try to push the obstacles out of the way. If that doesn’t work, an explorer can try hopping over it — and if successful, it can relay its telemetry to the others so they can do the same thing.

fly

Fly, tribot, fly!

It’s all done quite slowly at this point — you’ll notice that in the video, much of the action is happening at 16x speed. But rapidity isn’t the idea here; similar to Squishy Robotics’ creations, it’s more about adaptability and simplicity of deployment.

How Squishy Robotics created a robot that can be safely dropped out of a helicopter

The little bots weigh only 10 grams each, and are easily mass-produced, as they’re basically PCBs with some mechanical bits and grip points attached — “a quasi-two-dimensional metamaterial sandwich,” according to the paper. If they only cost (say) a buck each, you could drop dozens or hundreds on a target area and over an hour or two they could characterize it, take measurements and look for radiation or heat hot spots, and so on.

If they moved a little faster, the same logic and a modified design could let a set of robots emerge in a kitchen or dining room to find and collect crumbs or scoot plates into place. (Ray Bradbury called them “electric mice” or something in “There will come soft rains,” one of my favorite stories of his. I’m always on the lookout for them.)

Swarm-based bots have the advantage of not failing catastrophically when something goes wrong — when a robot fails, the collective persists, and it can be replaced as easily as a part.

“Since they can be manufactured and deployed in large numbers, having some ‘casualties’ would not affect the success of the mission,” noted EPFL’s Jamie Paik, who co-designed the robots. “With their unique collective intelligence, our tiny robots can demonstrate better adaptability to unknown environments; therefore, for certain missions, they would outperform larger, more powerful robots.”

It raises the question, in fact, of whether the sub-robots themselves constitute a sort of uber-robot? (This is more of a philosophical question, raised first in the case of the Constructicons and Devastator. Transformers was ahead of its time in many ways.)

The robots are still in prototype form, but even as they are, constitute a major advance over other “collective” type robot systems. The team documents their advances in a paper published in the journal Nature.

Read more: https://techcrunch.com/2019/07/12/these-robo-ants-can-work-together-in-swarms-to-navigate-tricky-terrain/

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I Decided To Work And My Husband Became A Stay-At-Home Dad And It’s Awesome

I always thought I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom (even my kindergarten projects show “mommy” as my dream job), but as I entered adulthood, I found myself wanting the exact opposite.

On May 22, 2010, I walked down the aisle and said “I do” to the man of my dreams. We met in 2008 in a meet cute in Austria and ― to be cliché ― we just knew we were each other’s person.

Friends and family thought we were too young or not ready, but I’ve never been one to let someone else’s opinions dictate my life. And this was definitely not the first time (or last time) someone would disagree with my brazen take on femininity. Feminism doesn’t mean that I have to do what’s trendy; feminism means I have the choice to live my life as I see fit.

Getting married while I was finishing up my last year of college didn’t come without hard work. I worked at a day care, taught English classes and took grad school classes, while my husband worked long hours at a lumberyard.

After two years of this routine, we decided it was time for the next step, and I found myself due with our first child around our second wedding anniversary. Despite my dreams of living the stay-at-home-mom life, fear made me doubt myself. Could it really work? Would I be a good enough mom? Regardless of my fears, when I was 24, I finally earned my stay-at-home-mom badge.

Six years, two wild boys, one puppy and one more pregnancy later, I was rockin’ the stay-at-home-mom life. I home-schooled, I baked, I made forts, and I read story after story. Yet there was one more piece of me that was missing: my writing. Once everyone was asleep, I’d sneak out to the living room where I’d write. Writing has always been a passion of mine, but it’s something that helped me find “me” again after having kids. I wrote anything for anyone, and the first time someone paid me to write, I think I did a happy dance. Never mind that I wrote for a business-to-business company discussing the perks of outsourcing call centers. I was a legitimate writer! 

As the years passed, I wrote thousands and tens of thousands of words until I had a very good problem: I had too much to write and not enough time. I continued to write during the “night shift,” surviving on coffee.

I home-schooled, I baked, I made forts, and I read story after story. Yet there was one more piece of me that was missing.

When the big 3-0 finally hit, I was three months pregnant with my baby girl, and I was quickly learning that my energy for writing until 1 a.m. was fading fast. I began to wonder if maybe ― just maybe ― my husband might be ready to take on my beloved job and let me bring home the bacon. Writing during the day (and not the middle of the night) seemed like a luxury, and I wanted it. 

For years, my husband bopped around from job to job. None of these jobs were his passion, and he certainly never felt fulfilled. He’d do the 9-to-5 grind (or, the 3 a.m. to 1 p.m. grind) and then we’d have a little family time before he’d hit the sack totally exhausted from life. “There’s gotta be more than this,” he whispered one night as he fell asleep. It broke my heart to see him slave away each day and still be so unfulfilled.

In that moment, I cared about nothing other than getting him home and promoting him to stay-at-home dad. Little writing assignments weren’t going to cut it anymore. I needed a real, legit plan to write my husband home, and that’s just what I did. This was my cue.

He took a few vacation days, and I glued myself to the computer lining up writing jobs and assignments to transition our family to our new normal. When he realized that I was potentially giving him the early retirement of a lifetime at 34, he started to find that spark in life again.

Finally, in April 2018, just two weeks after I had my third baby, I closed my eyes and gulped when my husband confirmed that he put in his two weeks’ notice.

It took about three seconds for the fear and panic to set in. What were we doing? How can my husband take over the house duties, the child rearing and the home schooling? How can I sit at a desk while still healing from an episiotomy? Will my kids still love me the same way if I’m working at home and not playing all the time? Will they see me differently? What if I don’t make enough to support us all?

While I don’t wear a power suit and I rarely wear makeup, I do bring home the bacon, I have no qualms being the breadwinner for our family, and my kids still love me just the same. My husband has embraced being the pancake-making, bike-riding, diaper-changing stay-at-home dad. 

Will my kids still love me the same way if I’m working at home and not playing all the time? Will they see me differently? What if I don’t make enough to support us all?

While neither of us thought our new arrangement was unusual, especially in today’s modern world, other people seemed to still have issues with it. My OB-GYN even told me that we were making “strange choices.” Another well-meaning family friend was so bold as to tell my husband that he needed a job because he’s the man. Side-eyes aside, nothing is holding us back from living the life we were meant to live. 

I know we are not alone in building a home where a wife works and a dad stays home. I’m thankful I get to focus on my career after years of staying home with the kids, and I’ve never seen my husband happier than when he’s with the kids. 

It’s a reversal of old-school, traditional gender roles, no doubt, and there were a few adjustments that needed to be made. My husband has learned to ask me for things, rather than the other way around. He was used to making the money and spending (within reason) money on himself, but when he wanted a new koa acoustic guitar, he struggled ― at first ― with the fact that he now had to ask for the things he used to just buy himself. Any disillusionment faded once that package from Sweetwater Guitar arrived ― with the new amp he wanted as a surprise addition to the order. 

He’s become a stronger voice for women’s equality, and I see that in the way he’s raising our daughter. I feel grateful our kids have us as proof that stereotypes are silly and they can do what they want ― regardless of whether it’s considered “masculine” or “feminine.”

So what is it really like to be married to a stay-at-home dad? It’s messy, glorious, beautiful and raw. I’ve also learned that I am more dependent on him now than ever before. I need him to take care of the kids, make the meals and keep the house tidy so I can work during the daylight hours. Without him, I couldn’t do what I do. In this way, we are the ultimate team.

I feel grateful our kids have us as proof that stereotypes are silly and they can do what they want ― regardless of whether it’s considered ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine.’

The kitchen may not be spotless (it’s never spotless), the laundry might not be folded right out of the dryer (but, hey, it’s all clean) and the floors haven’t been mopped in a while. He doesn’t quite have the timing down for making all the components of a meal finish at the same time, and he definitely doesn’t match the kids’ shorts with their shirts perfectly. 

But what my sweet husband lacks in the housework department he more than makes up for in other ways. He plants flowers outside my window so I can see flowers while I type. He hung a hammock in our bedroom so I can read in peace. He regularly brings me snacks and espresso on demand. He wears the baby in the Ergo every day so she can nap, and he carts the boys to karate, Boy Scouts and swimming class. When it comes to teaching, he’s taught our first grader to read, ride his bike, play the guitar and perform multiplication ― take that, Common Core! 

He’s doing everything I would have done for him, and that’s what partnership is. He lets me live out my dreams, and he’s figuring out the rest. And who knows what the future will hold. Maybe I’ll decide to stop working and he’ll find a career that ignites his fire. For now, though, our new arrangement is working well for us both, and we’ve never been happier.

Have a compelling first-person story you want to share? Send your story description to pitch@huffpost.com.

Read more: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/married-to-a-stay-at-home-dad_n_5d262d9ae4b0583e482b2ba2

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Air Force Major Charged With Murder After Missing Wifes Remains Found

A San Antonio Air Force Reserve major who reported his wife missing in March has been arrested and charged with murder, authorities said.

Andre McDonald, 40, was charged with first-degree murder Sunday in the death of his wife, 29-year-old Andreen McDonald, on March 1. After three months of countless countywide searches, authorities found the businesswomans body on a ranch east of Joint Base San Antonio-Camp Bullis.

McDonald is being held at Bexar County Jail on a $2 million bond, police confirmed to The Daily Beast.

Any ounce of understanding that we had for Andy is gone, her cousin, Cheryl Spencer, told KSAT during a Sunday vigil. You do not have the right to do this to any human being. Andreen was far from perfect. She had her flaws, but you do not have the right to do this to anybodys child.

While many details of the March murder remain unknown, authorities believe the couples 7-year-old daughter, who is autistic and nonverbal, may have seen the crime and subsequent cleanup.

At this point, I dont know how much the little girl knows, Bexar County Sheriff Javier Salazar said during a press conference Saturday. Im still of the belief that the little girl witnessed at least some things with the death of her mom.

Authorities say Andreen McDonald, the owner of Starlight Homes Assisted Living, was last seen with her daughter around 6:20 p.m. on February 28. According to an arrest warrant obtained by The Daily Beast, phone records indicate both McDonald and his wife were home the entire evening.

The next day, deputies went to the couples home to conduct a welfare check after the 29-year-olds mother and several friends said they had not heard from her since the previous evening.

According to the arrest warrant, two of Andreen McDonalds friends told authorities that before her disappearance she had said that if she ever went missing or was found dead, Andre had killed her.

A Bexar County Sheriff spokesperson confirmed officers had been called to their home numerous times for domestic disturbances. According to public records, McDonald filed for divorce in February 2017 but later dismissed the petition.

In their backyard, deputies noticed a burn pile, where it appeared something had recently been burned. All of Andreen McDonalds personal belongings were still in the house and her car was parked in the driveway.

When McDonald arrived home, he told deputies his wife was being treated at a local hospital. Police quickly suspected he was lying.

He claimed he did not know where Andreen McDonald was, the warrant states, but revealed he had an argument with his wife the night before and asked for an attorney.

Authorities also found blood and hair on the bathrooms light switch, floor, and door handlethough initial DNA tests could not determine if the samples belonged to Andreen McDonald.

Andre McDonald was first charged on March 3 with tampering with evidence after investigators discovered that he had purchased cans of gasoline, heavy duty trash bags, work gloves, a portable burn barrel, a shovel, and an ax around the time he reported his wife missing.

The Air Force officer then tried to destroy the receipt and throw them away in the kitchen trash can, authorities allege.

He went to great lengths to destroy that receipt. We were able to recover it but thats what led to the tampering with evidence charge, Salazar said. So, I think a lot of his behavior up to this point, along with some of the evidence that I wont go too much into detail on, are what led to this charge.

According to the arrest warrant, McDonald had cuts and injuries on his hands when he was arrested and gave conflicting accounts about how the wounds occurred.

Inside another trash can, the warrant states, investigators found a blood-stained hammer and a mans sweater and jeans, which had the couples blood on it.

The daughter, who has not been publicly named, suggested to one family friend that her mother had been burned, according to court documents, and made comments about Andre hurting Mommy.

In one attempt to explain what she saw, the daughter took a doll, put it in a circle over rocks, and covered it with sticks before asking for the fire.

Since his initial arrest, McDonald has not once asked about the ongoing search for his wife and has never tried to assist in the investigation, the warrant said.

On July 11, a friend of the ranchs owner discovered Andreen McDonalds body while removing two cow skulls on the 50-acre property. According to the warrant, when authorities arrived they noticed the human remains appeared to have been covered with wood and bones from a nearby deceased cow and set on fire. Melted plastic or synthetic material was also found among the remains.

The Medical Examiners Office confirmed the remains belonged to Andreen McDonald on Friday night using her dental records. The next day, McDonald was arrested at home and appeared quiet and fully cooperative, Salazar said on Saturday.

I actually enjoyed him being arrested, Andreen McDonald's cousin Cheryl Spencer said. That was nice. I like that little public shaming.

A Bexar County Sheriff spokesperson declined to provide a motive on Monday, but added that there is substantial evidence to prove McDonald killed his wife and disposed of her body.

The next step is to prepare this case to go to trial with the DAs office, the spokesperson said. Our department is dedicated to getting justice for Andreen and her family.

McDonalds attorney, John Convery, declined The Daily Beasts request for comment. Andreen McDonalds immediate family did not respond to multiple attempts for comment.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/air-force-major-charged-with-murder-after-missing-wifes-remains-found

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